TV Quotes

Ross: Okay, you go.
Chandler: Okay, you know when you're in bed with a woman and you're fooling around with her and you get all these mental images in your brain? Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place?
Ross: With the bellybutton ring?
Chandler: I know. And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. And you're, like, "Mom, get out of here! " But of course after that, you can't possibly think of anything else. And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're ... you know ... you know. You don't know!
Ross: Your mom? You're telling me about your mom? What is the matter with you?
Chandler: You said-
Ross: I said "share," not "scare"! Go sit over there!

Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Janice: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

Rachel: Hi, you guys.
Ross: Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Rachel: Mon, hi. Why aren't you at work?
Monica: Oh, they sent me home.
Rachel: Why?
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.

Joey: This guy's so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show.

Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore!
Joey: Yeah, then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?

Monica: So I went down to the post office and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Phoebe: Mon, do you want us to take you home?
Monica: Okay. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.

Jack Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while. It seems her father, your grandfather wanted her to travel around Europe like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time.

Ross: I have to say "Tupelo Honey" by van Morrison.
Rachel: No way. The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were."
Phoebe: See, I think the one that Elton John wrote for that guy on Who's the Boss?
Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Hold me close, Young Tony Danza.

Phoebe: Has she slept at all?
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
Ross: She finally stopped crying yesterday. But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace.
Phoebe: Okay, that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning and all I could hear was this high, squeaky sound. So I thought, "Okay, it's a mouse or a possum." Then I realized, like, okay, where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?

Janice: I gotta go, I gotta go. But not without a kiss.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you so then you'll stay.
Joey: [under his breath] Kiss her. Kiss her!