Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy

301. The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy

Aired September 19, 1996

Ross reveals a Star Wars-themed sexual fantasy to Rachel. Meanwhile, Monica suffers from insomnia after her break-up with Richard, and Joey is uncomfortable with Chandler and Janice dating again.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Okay, you go.
Chandler: Okay, you know when you're in bed with a woman and you're fooling around with her and you get all these mental images in your brain? Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place?
Ross: With the bellybutton ring?
Chandler: I know. And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. And you're, like, "Mom, get out of here! " But of course after that, you can't possibly think of anything else. And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're ... you know ... you know. You don't know!
Ross: Your mom? You're telling me about your mom? What is the matter with you?
Chandler: You said-
Ross: I said "share," not "scare"! Go sit over there!

Rate

Quote from Monica

Rachel: Hi, you guys.
Ross: Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Rachel: Mon, hi. Why aren't you at work?
Monica: Oh, they sent me home.
Rachel: Why?
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.

Quote from Joey

Joey: This guy's so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore!
Joey: Yeah, then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?

Quote from Janice

Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Janice: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

Quote from Jack Geller

Jack Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while. It seems her father, your grandfather wanted her to travel around Europe like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: I have to say "Tupelo Honey" by van Morrison.
Rachel: No way. The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were."
Phoebe: See, I think the one that Elton John wrote for that guy on Who's the Boss?
Rachel: What song was that, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Hold me close, Young Tony Danza.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Has she slept at all?
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
Ross: She finally stopped crying yesterday. But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace.
Phoebe: Okay, that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning and all I could hear was this high, squeaky sound. So I thought, "Okay, it's a mouse or a possum." Then I realized, like, okay, where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?

Quote from Joey

Janice: I gotta go, I gotta go. But not without a kiss.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you so then you'll stay.
Joey: [under his breath] Kiss her. Kiss her!

Quote from Ross

Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Rachel: What?
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair. What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: It's weird, but, you know what, I don't want to throw this away. I mean, this is like all I have left of him. Gross drain hair. Ew. [drops it in Ross's cereal]
Phoebe: Cool. Oh, it looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Well, I'm not surprised. Have you seen them together? They're really cute.
Joey: "Cute"? This is Janice. You remember Janice?
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember. She's annoying. But you know what? She's his girlfriend now.
I mean, what can we do?
Joey: There you go. That's the spirit I' m looking for. "What can we do?"

Quote from Phoebe

[Phoebe is holding pastries to her ears to look like Princess Leia]
Phoebe: Rach, look. Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me? There he is.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: She drove you nuts before, remember?
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. This could be the real thing. Capital R, capital T. Don't worry, those are the right letters.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so I have something to throw at her.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: How could you tell her?
Rachel: I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big a deal.
Rachel: Who are you talking to when you do that?

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: We tell each other everything. Guys do the same thing. I mean, what about all that locker-room stuff?
Ross: That's different. That's like, who dated a stripper? Or who did it on the back of the Staten lsland ferry?
Rachel: Both of those Joey?
Ross: Yeah.

Quote from Ross

Ross: So, what, you tell each other everything?
Rachel: Pretty much.
Ross: Did you talk about the Night of Five Times? Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times?
Rachel: Honey, yeah, that was with Carol.
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Okay, now close your eyes and think of a happy place. Tell me your happy place.
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
Phoebe: All right, no, no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out.
Monica: I' m sorry, but that's my happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine. Use my happy place, okay. I'm just going to have to ask that you don't move anything.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: All right, so, you' re in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky-
Monica: You think breaking up was a mistake?
Phoebe: Okay, there are no questions in the happy place.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Just the warm breeze and the moonlight flowing through the trees.
Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me. I'll bet he's fine.
Phoebe: Okay, betting and wagering of any kind are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place.

Quote from Janice

Joey: Okay, I'm in.
Janice: Okay. This is what were gonna call it: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

Quote from Joey

Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
Joey: Yeah, I know. I sleep in the next room.

Quote from Monica

Monica: So I went down to the post office and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Phoebe: Mon, do you want us to take you home?
Monica: Okay. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Chandler: Yeah.
Ross: No, Chandler, everything. Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes. Technique. Stamina. Girth.
Chandler: Girth? Why? Why? Why? Why would they do this?

Quote from Ross

Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly we ought to be doing it. Do you want to?
Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth, are we?
Ross: No.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: You still can't stand her, can you?
Joey: I'm sorry, man, I tried. I really did.
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Joey: But you know, the good thing is that we spent the whole day together and I survived. And what's even more amazing, so did she. It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler. We stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Chandler: Oh, God.
Joey: If it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Oh, yeah. I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.

Quote from Jack Geller

Monica: So what are you really doing here, Dad?
Jack Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
Monica: What makes you think I wouldn't be okay?
Jack Geller: I saw Richard. So how you doing?
Monica: I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, but I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
Jack Geller: You don't want to know.
Monica: No, I really, really do.
Jack Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Monica: Really?
Jack Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
Monica: You're not just saying that, are you?
Jack Geller: No, the man is a mess!
Monica: Was he crying?
Jack Geller: No.
Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry?
Jack Geller: Maybe.
Monica: I think so.

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, who's first, huh? Ross?
Ross: Well, I'm thinking Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy. So I say we all just be adult about it and accept her.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. Okay?


 Episode 224 Episode 302 
  Select another episode