Chandler: Okay, this is it. We're gonna get married.
Monica: You sure you wanna do this?
Ross: Hello, Mrs. Ross!
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!

Joey: That's right. You take good care of those babies.
Randall: Excuse me?
Joey: It's me. Joey.
Randall: Do I know you?
Joey: Joey?
Randall: Oh, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Joey: Okay, so what are we gonna do about this hand twin thing?
Randall: Nothing.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay. We have to do something with it. Like hand modeling. Or magic. And you know NASA's gonna want to talk to us.
Randall: I have to get back to work.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can have our own show. We can clap our hands together. People will love it. And I wrote a song for us.
[singing] This hand is your hand, This hand is my hand, Oh, wait, that's your hand, No, wait, it's my hand-
Randall: That's okay.
Joey: But you haven't even heard the chorus.

Phoebe: Okay, lady, your lurking days are over.
Lurker: What?
Phoebe: Yeah. From now on, everyone you lurk, I'll lurk first. You move on to someone else, I'm going to be one step ahead of you every single time. And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day, till Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Lurker: Also Monday.
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab.

Phoebe: I won! I finally won!
Lurker: I won. That was my quarter.
Phoebe: All right, here. Take a hike, toots.
Lurker: Excuse me, sir. This lady played my quarter. This is my money.
Security Guard: Is that true, miss?
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids.
Security Guard: What?
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids.
Lurker: It was my quarter.
Security Guard: Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Security Guard: Okay, lady, you're out of here.
Phoebe: No. No, you can't arrest me. No. I won't go back. I won't go back to that hellhole!
Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside.
Phoebe: Oh, okay.

Phoebe: Hello, my name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? Oh, what did I do with my Filofax? I must've left it in Conference Room B.
Randall: Fourteen.
Joey: Hit me.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. May I just say, that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands? They're identical. Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Randall: Stop it.
Joey: Miss Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at this table?
Randall: Please stop it.
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of an entertainment venue?
Randall: If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it to you.

Rachel: Ross, there is no way I am leaving looking like this.
Ross: Come on, Rach. It's not that bad.
Rachel: Ross, I am a human doodle!

Ross: I think the check-in is that way.
[A kid points and laughs at Rachel]
Rachel: Oh, kids love me.
Phoebe: Hey. Hi, you guys are here. What'd you do? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess. Pancho Villa and you're Bob Saget.
Rachel: Pancho Villa?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Pheebs? I don't- Oh, my God! You drew on me?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants.
Phoebe: Oh, what kind of party was this?

Phoebe: It's, like, the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Ross: I bet she's one of those people.
Phoebe: Mole people?
Ross: What? No. No, a lurker.
Phoebe: What's a lurker?
Ross: Okay, when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then-
Phoebe: Kills you?
Ross: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
Phoebe: Oh. How do you know about this?
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for my dance- Karate lessons.
Phoebe: Dance karate?
Ross: Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport.

Ross: Listen, I talked to Chandler. And I'm sorry about the movie.
Joey: Don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin.
Ross: Your what?
Joey: My identical hand twin. Yeah, the person whose hands are exactly like mine. This thing is a gold mine.
Ross: What? That's not going to make you any money.
Joey: Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine. None of you will get to live with me in my great, big hand-shaped mansion. Except you, Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.

Monica: So let's forget about this going home stuff and start celebrating our anniversary. Okay, this is empty.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.