TV Quotes

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast, but damn it, we can eat!

Rachel: Why don't you sit down? Dina has something she wants to tell you.
Joey: What's going on? Is it Mom? Is she sick? Is it Dad's heart? Is that a sandwich?
Dina: Joe, Mom and Dad are fine.
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!

Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right. Now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs.

Rachel: The bottom line, Ross, is we cannot stay married.
Ross: I don't know if that's true.
Rachel: Oh, but it is.
Ross: Okay. You know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage-
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. This is not a marriage. This is the world's worst hangover!

Rachel: Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will.
Ross: All right. All right, I'll do it.
Ross: Thank you.
Rachel: Hey. Hey, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?

Ross: Laugh it up, but the joke's on you because we don't need to get divorced. Okay, we're just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross, I don't think surgery is the answer here.

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

Joey: But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.
Rachel: Exactly. Unisex!
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No. No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.

Chandler: How can I not be upset? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out she wanted you first.
Joey: Yeah, for like a half an hour one night. Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life. We look at you and we see you together, and it just it fits, you know? And you just know it's gonna last forever.
Chandler: That's what you should say.
Joey: What?
Chandler: When you're marrying us, that's what you should say.
Joey: Really? I could do it?
Chandler: I'd love you to do it.
Chandler: But those are the words. Those exact words.
Joey: Well, I don't remember exactly but it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.