‘The One with a Chick and a Duck’
Season 3, Episode 21 - Aired April 17, 1997
Pete offers Monica a job in his new restaurant, but she is hesistant to take it if he's still got a crush on her. Meanwhile, Ross skips an important engagement to take care of Rachel, and Joey and Chandler adopt a baby chick and a duck.
Quote from Monica
Monica: This has been, like, my dream since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened Easy-Monica's Bakery.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: It's a chicken.
Joey: It's cute, huh?
Phoebe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys? Do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? No.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Does it involve travel?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Wait, wait. Clogs or claws?
Monica: Clogs.
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Claws?
Phoebe: No.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a jerk. You want me to kick his ass?
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Ross, I'm kidding. Come here. What were you gonna tell us?
Rachel: Ooh, was it how you invented the cotton gin?
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: They are a huge responsibility. Especially at this age. They require constant care. They need just the right food and lots and lots of love.
Joey: [picks up the chick and grasps it closely] Well, no problem there.
Chandler: Easy, Lenny.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Wow. That's exciting. You went to Japan, made up a woman.
Pete: What?
Phoebe: I'm just saying, this "woman," I mean, she's fictitious, no?
Pete: Why would you say that?
Phoebe: Because you're still into Monica. So you told there's somebody else so she'd agree to work with you because you figure f you spend time a lot of time together, maybe something might happen.
Pete: You're good. You're good.
Phoebe: Yeah. No, I'm fairly intuitive. And psychic. It's a substantial gift.
Pete: Can you promise me that you won't tell her?
Phoebe: Absolutely. I promise. Tell her what?
Pete: Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: No, I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.
Quote from Ross
Ross: You've got to go to a doctor, okay?
Rachel: No, I have to get ready and go to a dinner at my boss's house. There's people there that I have to meet.
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure you'll make a great impression. [raising his foot and shaking it like a hand] "Hi, I'm Rachel. It's nice to meet you."
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with Chandler and that sock he keeps by his bed?
Phoebe: No, but let's come back to that later.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Now you stay out here and you think about what you did!
Ross: That's a duck.
Chandler: That's a bad duck!