TV Quotes

Monica: This has been, like, my dream since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened Easy-Monica's Bakery.

Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a jerk. You want me to kick his ass?

Ross: Hey, you guys. Guess what?
Rachel: You got a job on a riverboat?
Ross: You know what, I didn't wear this suit for a year, because you hated it. Well, guess what. You're not my girlfriend anymore, so...
Rachel: Oh, I see. This suit is making a point. Now that you're on your own, you're free to look as stupid as you'd like.
Ross: You like it, right?
Monica: Absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders.

Monica: Ross, I'm kidding. Come here. What were you gonna tell us?
Rachel: Ooh, was it how you invented the cotton gin?

Chandler: It's a chicken.
Joey: It's cute, huh?
Phoebe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys? Do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? No.

Phoebe: They are a huge responsibility. Especially at this age. They require constant care. They need just the right food and lots and lots of love.
Joey: [picks up the chick and grasps it closely] Well, no problem there.
Chandler: Easy, Lenny.

Phoebe: Wow. That's exciting. You went to Japan, made up a woman.
Pete: What?
Phoebe: I'm just saying, this "woman," I mean, she's fictitious, no?
Pete: Why would you say that?
Phoebe: Because you're still into Monica. So you told there's somebody else so she'd agree to work with you because you figure f you spend time a lot of time together, maybe something might happen.
Pete: You're good. You're good.
Phoebe: Yeah. No, I'm fairly intuitive. And psychic. It's a substantial gift.
Pete: Can you promise me that you won't tell her?
Phoebe: Absolutely. I promise. Tell her what?
Pete: Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: No, I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.

Ross: You've got to go to a doctor, okay?
Rachel: No, I have to get ready and go to a dinner at my boss's house. There's people there that I have to meet.
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure you'll make a great impression. [raising his foot and shaking it like a hand] "Hi, I'm Rachel. It's nice to meet you."

Phoebe: Monica, I am so excited for you. I have to tell you something.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, I can't tell you.
Monica: But wouldn't it be easier to tell me something that you could tell me?
Phoebe: Well, sure, in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to, like, all my Gods.

Monica: Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Does it have to do with Chandler and that sock he keeps by his bed?
Phoebe: No, but let's come back to that later.