TV Quotes

Ross: Danger! Danger!
Rachel: What the hell was that?
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi.
Phoebe: You're a freak!
Ross: Perhaps. Now, I'm curious. At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared.
Ross: I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I just want you guys to be safe.
[Monica opens the apartment door to take out the trash]
Ross: Danger! [Monica walks by unfazed] Ah, huh? Unagi.

Ross: All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared for an attack against, like, each other. It's a whole other story being prepared for an attack, like, I don't know- A surprise! All right, you knew that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
Rachel: Ooh, you know what, if we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.

Phoebe: Yeah, now we can kick anybody's ass.
Ross: After one class? I don't think so.
Rachel: You want to see me self-defend myself? Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator. Go on, I dare you.
Ross: Of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming. That's not enough. Look, I studied karate for a long time. And there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi.
Rachel: Isn't that a kind of sushi?
Ross: No, it's a concept.
Phoebe: Yeah, it is. It's freshwater eel.
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too.
Rachel: Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now.
Ross: Fine, get attacked. I don't even care.

Chandler: Hey.
Ross: Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: What?
Ross: Unagi. I'm always aware.
Chandler: Okay. Are you aware that unagi is an eel?

Phoebe: Come on, Ross, we're sorry. Please tell us what it is.
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.
Phoebe: You mean, in case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?

Carl: Hey, Mon. Hey, Chan. Just getting a soda.
Monica: Who the hell are you?
Carl: I'm Joey. "How are you doing?"
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no! How you doin'? Right? How you doin'? Damn it, Carl. Go wait in the hall.

Joey: Look, I've got to apologize on behalf of Carl.
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Chandler: You know, sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you. Aren't they?
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. The only problem is Carl's acting.
Monica: The only problem?

Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ross: Danger!
Rachel: Oh, my God. Why is he jumping on those women?
Phoebe: We should help them.
Rachel: Well, I don't think they need any help.
[Ross screams]

Phoebe and Rachel: Danger!
Ross: [high-pitched scream]
Rachel: Ah. Salmon-skin roll.

Carl: Hey, can I get a little piece of that cake?
Joey: Pizza. We like pizza. Get out!