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‘The One with Joey's New Girlfriend’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Joey's New Girlfriend

405. The One with Joey's New Girlfriend

Aired October 30, 1997

Chandler finds himself smitten with Joey's new girlfriend, Kathy. Meanwhile, Phoebe comes down with a cold which happens to improve her singing, and Ross gets an attractive new girlfriend prompting Rachel to try make him jealous.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] "Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?" This chick sounds good. "Smelly cat"- Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.

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Quote from Gunther

Gunther: Rachel, when's your birthday?
Rachel: May 5th. Why?
Gunther: Oh, I'm just making a list of birthdays.
Ross: Mine's December-
Gunther: Yeah, whatever.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Hello. What's this? Oh, right. It's that girl's phone number. There it is. Just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. It's no big deal. I mean, it is her home phone number, but... [drops the paper on Rachel's laps] Whoops. Almost lost this baby. The lovely Amanda gives me her number, and I go and drop it.
Phoebe: [gasps]
[Rachel hands Phoebe the paper as a tissue, Phoebe sneezes]
Phoebe: Thank you.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: She's pretty. Pretty, pretty girl. The pretty- She's pretty.
Monica: You should go ask her out. [Chandler laughs] Oh, come on. What's the worst that could happen?
Chandler: I could die.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Yeah, it's tough being single.
Ross: That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chuck E. Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Phoebe. If you're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home and get in bed and stay there.
Phoebe: But I'm unemployed. My music is all I really have now. Well, music and making my own shoes. Pretty, huh?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Before I start, I want to say that I have a cold. So if I sneeze during a song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of "Pepper People."

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Your cold makes you sound great.
Phoebe: It's fun. God, I love how sexy I am! [violently coughs]

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Ross, didn't you play soccer in high school? No, wait. That's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: So nice to finally be in a fun relationship, you know? There's nothing boring about him.
I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon. Like on a class trip or something.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: You know what else is great about him? Oh. What is the word for an adult who doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?

Quote from Monica

Rachel: What was that?
Ross: Monica knows.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up to try to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made that up. It was the first time I realized I was cooler than my big brother.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I should go too. I'm playing in one hour. You guys should come hear me. [clears throat] Hear me. Oh. [sings] "My sticky shoes" Ew. Ew. I lost my sexy phlegm!

Quote from Phoebe

[Phoebe's hair is wet. She runs to opens a window]
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Okay, I want to be sexy again, so I'm trying to catch a cold. Should be easy. Supposedly they're pretty common.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Listen, you want to get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Oh. You know what? I already ate.
Joey: It's 4:30.
Chandler: Well, I had a big meal on Monday. So that's just going to get me straight through the week.
Joey: Okay. I see what's going on here.
Chandler: You do?
Joey: Yeah. You don't like Kathy.
Chandler: You got me.
Joey: Yeah. You've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice. Now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by coming out to dinner with us. Right?
Chandler: Yeah, right.
Joey: Good. And hey, my treat. But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I am so gonna marry that guy. Ugh.
Monica: What?
Rachel: I think he's stealing from me.
Monica: Why?
Rachel: Because he's stealing from me!
Phoebe: Hi, it's me and soup. I just saw Josh. He looked so yummy in your leather jacket.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth, so it's really just noodle water.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might want to tone it down a little.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R-rated movies.
Rachel: Why don't you just marry her? Wait, you can't. I forgot. She's not a lesbian.

Quote from Monica

Ross: See, Amanda and I have a-
Monica: You have nothing! You're not even going out. You're her babysitter. You have a 12-year-old girl's job.
Rachel: [laughing] Oh, that is so sad.
Monica: And what are you laughing at, Miss My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Does it even work without my sexy voice?
Gunther: I like it. [Gunther sneezes]
Phoebe: Gunther, kiss me.
Gunther: What? [Phoebe kisses Gunther]

Quote from Gunther

Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Gunther: I don't know if you heard what happened between me and Phoebe?
Rachel: No.
Gunther: We kissed. I didn't initiate it, but I also didn't stop it. I've been feeling guilty.
Rachel: Okay.
Gunther: So are we cool?
Rachel: Okay.
Gunther: I knew you would understand.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: All I'm gonna say is, finally, it's nice to be in a mature relationship.
Rachel: You know, the world would be such a better place if that actually was all you were gonna say.

Quote from Joey

Monica: What movie did you get?
Joey: I got what I always get, Die Hard.
Kathy: See, that's what I like about Joey. Any other guy would have been "Yeah, The English Patient is my favorite movie too." But Joey goes, "No way. Let's get Die Hard! I'm not watching that English crap."

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go with my new bluesy voice. But nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Monica: How about your mom dying? Or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that whoo-hoo thing.

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: Kath, we should get going. We're going to buy hamsters.
Kathy: No, it's not like that. I work for a medical researcher.
Rachel: Well, have fun.
Kathy: Okay.
Phoebe: I think it's nice that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.


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