Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] "Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?" This chick sounds good. "Smelly cat"- Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.

Gunther: Rachel, when's your birthday?
Rachel: May 5th. Why?
Gunther: Oh, I'm just making a list of birthdays.
Ross: Mine's December-
Gunther: Yeah, whatever.

Chandler: What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might want to tone it down a little.

Ross: Hello. What's this? Oh, right. It's that girl's phone number. There it is. Just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. It's no big deal. I mean, it is her home phone number, but... [drops the paper on Rachel's laps] Whoops. Almost lost this baby. The lovely Amanda gives me her number, and I go and drop it.
Phoebe: [gasps]
[Rachel hands Phoebe the paper as a tissue, Phoebe sneezes]
Phoebe: Thank you.

Phoebe: Before I start, I want to say that I have a cold. So if I sneeze during a song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of "Pepper People."

Joey: Listen, you want to get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Chandler: Oh. You know what? I already ate.
Joey: It's 4:30.
Chandler: Well, I had a big meal on Monday. So that's just going to get me straight through the week.
Joey: Okay. I see what's going on here.
Chandler: You do?
Joey: Yeah. You don't like Kathy.
Chandler: You got me.
Joey: Yeah. You've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice. Now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by coming out to dinner with us. Right?
Chandler: Yeah, right.
Joey: Good. And hey, my treat. But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?

Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Gunther: I don't know if you heard what happened between me and Phoebe?
Rachel: No.
Gunther: We kissed. I didn't initiate it, but I also didn't stop it. I've been feeling guilty.
Rachel: Okay.
Gunther: So are we cool?
Rachel: Okay.
Gunther: I knew you would understand.

Monica: Phoebe. If you're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home and get in bed and stay there.
Phoebe: But I'm unemployed. My music is all I really have now. Well, music and making my own shoes. Pretty, huh?

Monica: Your cold makes you sound great.
Phoebe: It's fun. God, I love how sexy I am! [violently coughs]

Rachel: So nice to finally be in a fun relationship, you know? There's nothing boring about him.
I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon. Like on a class trip or something.