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‘The One with the Boobies’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Boobies

113. The One with the Boobies

Aired January 19, 1995

When Chandler accidentally walks in on Rachel changing and sees her boobies, she sets out to even the score. Meanwhile, Joey tries to repair his parent's marriage by putting a stop his father's affair, and Phoebe's friends quickly turn on her new boyfriend, a psychologist named Roger.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Wait! Go back to that "sibling" thing.
Roger: Well, I don't know. It's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so the sibling would feel like less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Ross: [high-pitched squeal] That's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures.
Monica: Oh, so you think I'm a failure?
Phoebe: lsn't he good?
Ross: Yeah. No, that's not what I was saying.
Monica: You know, all these years I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you was doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better.
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!

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Quote from Chandler

Joey: What's the matter with you?
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler.
Chandler: What?
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Chandler: Sorry, my thing was in there with me.

Quote from Phoebe

Roger: I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Phoebe: You're not? You see, that's why you're so great.
Roger: Actually, it's quite typical behavior when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them. And you're all like, "Oh, define me! Define me! Love me! I need love!"

Quote from Chandler

Roger: Hey, did I miss something?
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Ross: What? What were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: It was an accident. It's not like I was across across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Can we change the subject, please?
Phoebe: Because, hello? These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know, I don't know why you were embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
Rachel: "Nice"? They were "nice"? I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are "nice."
Chandler: Okay. Rock, hard place, me.

Quote from Chandler

Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny. I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky. What did you mean by that?
Roger: Well, I don't know. It just seems that maybe you have intimacy issues. You know, that you use your humor as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Chandler: Huh.
Roger: I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
Chandler: Uh-huh. How did you know that?
Roger: It's textbook.

Quote from Joey

Joey Tribbiani Sr.: Your dad's in love. The worst part is, it's with two different women.
Joey: Oh, man! Please tell me one of them is Ma.

Quote from Joey

Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad leads this double life. He's like actually some spy working for the ClA. That'd be cool. This blows!

Quote from Rachel

Ross: All right, all right. We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think you're going to have to show her your pee-pee.
Chandler: You know, I don't see that happening.
Rachel: Come on, he's right. You know, tit for tat.
Chandler: Well, I'm not showing you my tat.

Quote from Joey

Joey: If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. I want you here so I can keep an eye on you.
Joey Tribbiani Sr.: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: Right. As long as you are under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. That means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Ronni: Wow, he's strict

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Hey, kickie! What are you doing?
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Chandler: Well, you're gonna.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You're not him, you're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Joey: No.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work-actor business.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.

Quote from Joey

Gloria Tribbiani: So tell me. Did you see her?
Joey: Yeah. You're 10 times prettier than she is.
Gloria Tribbiani: That's sweet. Could I take her?
Joey: With this ring, no contest.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: It's nothing. I'm fine. It's just- It's my friends. They have a liking problem with you, in that they don't.

Quote from Joey

Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh?
Joey: Yeah, he's gonna keep cheating on my Ma like she wanted. My Ma's gonna keep on pretending she doesn't know, even though she does. And my little sister, Tina, can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order. Which has nothing to do with anything, except I found out today.
Rachel: Wow.
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: And just think, in a couple of years, we get to turn into them.
Monica: Oh, please.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after 20-year-old boys, or I'll end up like my mom.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: How's it going?
Phoebe: Okay, except I broke up with Roger. [everyone awws]
Phoebe: Yeah, right.
Monica: No, no, really. [everyone awws]
Rachel: What happened?
Phoebe: I don't know. I mean he's a good person, and he can be really sweet. In some ways, I think he is so right for me. It's just, I hate that guy!


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