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‘The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister

311. The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister

Aired January 9, 1997

When a drunken Chandler fools around with one of Joey's sisters at his birthday party, Chandler struggles to remember which sister he hooked up with. Meanwhile, Rachel lands a new job in fashion when a guy at a diner overhears her complaining about her job.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my speed dialer. No, no, no, no. It's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have.

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Quote from Chandler

Ross: "Dear Mary Angela: Hi, how's it going? This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write." What the hell's the matter with you? How do you think Joey's going to react when he finds out you blew off his sister with a letter?
Chandler: That's the part where you tell him that I moved to France when actually I'll be in Cuba.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Somebody's at the door on the ceiling.
Rachel: That's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.
Monica: Yeah, he took up the carpets, and now you can hear everything.
Phoebe: Why don't you go ask him to just, "Step lightly, please?"
Monica: I have, like five times. But the guy is so charming that I go up there to yell, then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: Oh, that is silly. I'll go up there. I'll tell him to keep it down.

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, all right. If you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show you. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was I looked at it so fast, it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. Just did it again. Here, I'll slow it down so you guys can see it.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Anybody got a length of rope about 6 feet long with a noose at the end?
Rachel: Honey, what's the matter?
Chandler: I just saw Janice. She was at Rockefeller Center, skating with her husband. She looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them.

Quote from Rachel

Mr. Kaplan: How's that coffee coming, dear?
Rachel: Right away, Mr. Kaplan.
Mr. Kaplan: I'm not supposed to drink coffee. It makes me gassy.
Rachel: I know.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: So did you tell "Mark Something" about me?
Rachel: I didn't have to because I was wearing my "I Heart Ross" sandwich board and ringing my bell.

Quote from Chandler

[Joey's sisters enter the apartment]
Chandler: Okay. How many of that girl are you seeing?

Quote from Rachel

Ross: So he's "just a nice guy." Do you really think this Mark doesn't want anything for helping you?
Rachel: Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him. But, you know, that's true of any job.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: I fooled around with Joey's sister. [Phoebe gasps] That's not the worst part.
Monica: What is the worst part?
Chandler: I can't remember which sister.
Ross: You see what men do? Don't tell me men are nice. This is men!

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Was it Gina?
Ross: Which one's Gina?
Rachel: The dark, big hair, with airplane earrings.
Monica: No, no, no. That's not Gina, that's Dina.
Chandler: See? You can't tell which is which either. Mwah!
Phoebe: We didn't fool around with any of them. Mwah mwah!

Quote from Ross

Chandler: It's got to be Veronica. The girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Monica: That was me.
Chandler: Look, when I've been drink, sometimes I get overly friendly and I'm sorry.
Rachel: That's all right.
Ross: That's okay.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Look, you've got to do this yourself in person. You know her name. You just go to the house and ask for Mary Angela. When whichever one she is comes to the door take her for a walk and let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary Angela comes to the door and I ask for her?
Ross: Where in Cuba?

Quote from Joey

Joey: Now look, listen. Listen. You gotta be cool, because my Grandma doesn't know about you two yet. You do not want to tick her off. She was, like, the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Are you crazy?
Ross: Am l? Am I out of my mind? Am I losing my senses? This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: This tiramisu is excellent. Did you make it, Mary Angela?
Grandma Tribbiani: No, I did.
Chandler: Well, it's yummy. So ... Mary Angela, do you like it?
Grandma Tribbiani: Of course. It's her favorite.
Chandler: So ... Mary Angela, what's your second favorite?
Grandma Tribbiani: More of Grandma's tiramisu.
Chandler: Oh, would you just please ... give me your recipe, because this is great! It's topnotch!
Grandma Tribbiani: That dies with me.
Chandler: So will I.

Quote from Joey

Joey: He knows he did a terrible thing, and I believe him. He's sorry. But you got one more apology to make. You gotta apologize to Mary Angela.
Chandler: Okay. Absolutely. You got it.
Joey: All right.
[Chandler looks around at all of Joey's sisters, unable to identify Mary Angela]
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!

Quote from Rachel

Mark: Believe me, I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Rachel: Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here. You can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Mark: Just one other thing.
Rachel: Yes?
Mark: I work at Bloomingdale's. I might know of a possible job, if you're interested.
Rachel: Do you want my pickle?


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