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‘The One with Frank, Jr.’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Frank, Jr.

305. The One with Frank, Jr.

Aired October 17, 1996

Phoebe spends time with her half-brother, Frank, but they have difficulty bonding. Meanwhile, Ross tries to list five celebrities he would most like to sleep with and Joey attempts to build an entertainment center.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Oh, sorry. Did I get you?
Chandler: No, you didn't "get" me! It's an electric drill! You "get" me, you kill me!

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Quote from Phoebe

Monica: We used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Phoebe: How do you play the shadow game?
Monica: How do you play the shadow game?
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Monica: I just asked you.
Phoebe: I don't have time for this.
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Phoebe: You just gave up really quickly.

Quote from Ross

Isabella Rossellini: Is that the list?
Ross: Yes.
Isabella Rossellini: Can I see it?
Ross: Um, no.
Isabella Rossellini: I'm not on the list!
Ross: But, see, that's not the final draft.
Isabella Rossellini: It's laminated.
Ross: Okay, see, you were on my list. But then my friend, Chandler, brought up the very good point that you are international. So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local.
Isabella Rossellini: You know, it's ironic, because I have a list of five goofy coffeehouse guys. And yesterday, I just bumped you for that guy over there.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Well, you know how we're always say we need a place for the mail.
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: Well, I started building one, but then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: On three.
Joey: Why don't we just go on two?
Chandler: Why two?
Joey: Because it's faster.
Chandler: Well, I could've counted to "three" four times without all this "two" talk.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: My word, those are snug.
Joey: Oh, yeah. These are my old work pants. Sergio valente.
[Chandler opens his door. The bottom half doesn't move, he trips over it.]
Joey: Power saw kind of got away from me there.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Hey, Pheebs. Any sign of your brother?
Phoebe: No, but he's always late.
Rachel: I thought you only met him once.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds, like, big sister-y, "Frank's always late."

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Well, relax. He'll be here.
Phoebe: I know. I'm just nervous. It's just, Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister, Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. It's just, like, the "Iast-desperate-chance-to-have-a-family" kind of thing.

Quote from Rachel

Phoebe: You're so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Actually, Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here is the thing.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: Janice likes him. In fact, she likes him so much, she put him on her "freebie" Iist.
Joey: Her what?
Chandler: Well, we have a deal where we each get to pick five different celebrities we could sleep with ... and the other one can't get mad.
Ross: Ah. The heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect and sex with celebrities.

Quote from Ross

Joey: Rach, how about you?
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sting and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Spiderman?
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Ross: Thank you.

Quote from Chandler

Frank: Hey, how do you guys get anything done?
Chandler: We don't, really.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: We're gonna connect and bond and everything.
Frank: I thought we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars. Oh, and my friend, Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
Chandler: You know, we really don't take advantage of living in the city.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Calm down! Do you want this unit or not?
Chandler: I do not want this unit!
Joey: You should've told me before. I'm not a mind reader. [Joey taps his pencil on Chandler's head]

Quote from Monica

Joey: Look at that. Every inch of this is glued down. It'd take forever to pry this up. You should just leave it.
Monica: I can't leave it. You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
Joey: [Joey puts the toilet brush over the hole] There. There you go.
Monica: Yeah, that's nice. We can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Okay, I've got free of my five.
Rachel: Three of your five what?
Ross: Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.
Rachel: Oh, my God, you're giving this a lot of thought.
Ross: Hey, it's hard, okay? I only have two spots left.
Chandler: All right. Who you got it narrowed down to?
Ross: Elizabeth Hurley.
Chandler: Very attractive. Forgiving.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Chandler: You know what? She's too political. She'd probably wouldn't let you do it until you donated four cans of food first.
Ross: And Isabella Rossellini.
Chandler: Very hot. Very sexy. But she's too international. She's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So you gotta play the odds. Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country all the time.
Rachel: Yeah. Because that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.

Quote from Monica

Monica: How's it going with you guys?
Phoebe: So far it kind of blows. I don't know, I just thought he'd feel more like a brother. Like you and Ross. Just like close and connected and-
Monica: We're close now. You wouldn't believe the years of noogies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies and- That's when the waistband actually goes over your head.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Seen Joey?
Monica: What's the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! [a lid is stuck to Chandler's butt] It's my fault, really, because the couch is where we keep the varnish.

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: Maybe my ruler's wrong.
Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay, sir, let me just see if I've got this right. So this is a half-caf, double-tall, easy hazelnut, nonfat, no foam, with whip, extra-hot latte, right? Okay. Great. You freak.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: You don't think I'd go up to her?
Rachel: Ross, it took you 10 years to finally admit you liked me.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Give me a new floor!
Joey: I can't, Monica. Chandler would kill me if I don't finish the unit.
Monica: I'll pay you double what he is paying you.
Joey: He's not paying me anything.
Monica: Triple! [Joey turns around intrigued]

Quote from Joey

Chandler: He was helping me first!
Monica: But I need a bathroom first!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. You guys figure it out. I'm going to go take a little break.
Chandler: Oh, that's good!
Monica: Take a break?!
Joey: Yeah, even God rested on the seventh day.
Monica: Joey, if this takes seven days you'll be able to meet God and ask him about it yourself!


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