‘The One Where Emma Cries’
Season 9, Episode 2 - Aired October 3, 2002
After returning home from the hospital, Rachel worries she'll never get the hang of being a mother when she can't get Emma to stop crying. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep in a work meeting, and Joey and Ross end up back at the hospital.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Why are you so tired?
Chandler: I couldn't sleep last night. And then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have later today. The more I worried, the more I couldn't sleep. You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep. But if I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours' sleep." No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep.
Joey: You know what you should've done? You should have told yourself that little story.
Quote from Ross
Ross: No, I left the diapers at the hospital. There's some in the bag, but I'll run out and get some more.
Rachel: All right, thanks. Oh, Ross, could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin?
Ross: Oh, sure. What kind?
Rachel: Um, let me think. What do I want? What do I want?
Ross: Please, take your time. It's an important decision, not like say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin!
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Wow, he's really not letting this go, is he?
Rachel: God, how long do you think that's gonna last?
Phoebe: Well, I don't know. He got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind.
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding. All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Quote from Gunther
Ross: Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go?
Gunther: Diapers, huh?
Ross: Yep.
Gunther: So I guess Rachel had your baby?
Ross: Yep. Can you believe it?
Gunther: Nope. I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place.
Ross: Huh? Oh, you mean, like... Huh?
Quote from Joey
Joey: Hey. Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Uh, actually, we don't.
Joey: Fine. Okay. Fine. But I gotta say, technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.
Ross: What? You didn't do anything wrong?
Joey: I said I didn't technically.
Ross: Okay. Well, let's put aside the fact that you "accidentally" picked up my grandmother's ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Joey: Can I just stop you there for a second? When people do this [gesture for air quotes] I don't really know what that means.
Quote from Joey
Joey: You were saying?
Ross: And I could even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel. But why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to, and you didn't.
Joey: I know. I should've. "I'm sorry."
Ross: Not using it right, Joe.
Joey: "I'm sorry."
Quote from Joey
Joey: Name? ... No, I know Ross. But what's it short for? You know, like Rossell. Or Rosstrophor.
Ross: Just Ross.
Joey: It's pretty.
Quote from Ross
Joey: Okay, date of birth?
Ross: You know my birthday.
Joey: Sure. May- tember?
Ross: October 18.
Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs.
Ross: Actually, I'm a paleon- Dinosaurs is fine. The drawing is not.
Quote from Chandler
Ms. McKenna: Okay, if everyone's on board, it's settled. Chandler? Chandler?
Chandler: Yeah.
Ms. McKenna: Are you on board?
Chandler: Yes.
Ms. McKenna: Well, then problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. You're gonna love Oklahoma.