‘The One with All the Thanksgivings’
Season 5, Episode 8 - Aired November 19, 1998
After Thanksgiving dinner the group talk about some of their worst Thanksgiving memories.
Quote from Jack Geller
Judy Geller: Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room in the fridge.
Monica: No. No, thank you.
Jack Geller: Well, Judy, you did it. She's finally full.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I've got one that's worse.
Chandler: Really? Worse than, "More turkey, Mr. Chandler?"
Phoebe: Did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
[Phoebe in a field hospital, Thanksgiving 1862]
Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here. This man is- [an explosion blows off Phoebe's arm] Oh, no.
[Present day:]
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh, this life? Oh, okay. No, Chandler's is worse.
Quote from Judy Geller
Judy Geller: Monica, come down. Everyone's here. Ross, Rachel and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Quote from Ross
Doctor: What have we got here?
Paramedic: Twenty-year-old male. He's got a severed toe on his right foot.
Chandler: Ow! Ow!
Ross: Could you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is. Severed toe, you just said it!
Quote from Judy Geller
Doctor: Did you bring the toe?
Monica: Oh, yes. I have it right here on ice.
Doctor: Don't worry, son. We'll just reattach it and then-
Monica: What? What is it?
Doctor: You brought a carrot.
Chandler: What?
Doctor: This isn't your toe. This is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: You brought a carrot?
Judy Geller: Oh, my God. There's a toe in my kitchen.
Quote from Phoebe
[Phoebe in a field hospital, Thanksgiving 1915]
Phoebe: [in a French accent] Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some more gauze? [an explosion removes one of Phoebe's arms] This is getting ridiculous.
Quote from Chandler
Nora Bing: Now, Chandler, dear just because we're getting a divorce doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me.
Housebody: More turkey, Mr. Chandler?
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that. I don't have any past-life memories.
Phoebe: Of course, you don't, sweetie. You're brand-new.
Quote from Joey
Monica: I got it. Phoebe, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. [Joey giggles] Joey, now is not the time.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: You did look like an idiot.
Joey: I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. Remember when Ross tried to say "butternut squash" and it came out, "squatternut bosh"?
Ross: Yeah, that's the same.