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‘The One Where Joey Moves Out’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Joey Moves Out

216. The One Where Joey Moves Out

Aired February 15, 1996

When Joey and Chandler have a fight, Joey decides the time is right to rent an apartment of his own. Meanwhile, Monica's parents find out about her relationship with Richard, while Rachel and Phoebe choose to get tattoos.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well, next time you shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

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Quote from Judy Geller

Monica: Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome. And he's sweet, and I know you'd like him.
Judy Geller: Well, that's wonderful. [turns around to see Monica close to Richard] Ay.
Monica: Mom, it's okay.
Richard: It is, Judy.
Judy Geller: Jack! Could you come in here for a moment? Now!

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Richard's going to the party too?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to go.
Joey: So is today the day you'll tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Man, this is weird. You ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are on his hat?
Chandler: That's what's weird? The man's been captain of a cereal for 40 years.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Urgh, urgh, urgh.
Joey: What?
Chandler: The spoon. You licked and you put. You licked and you put.
Joey: Yeah, so?
Chandler: Don't you see how gross that is? That's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey looks guilty] You used my toothbrush?
Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Chandler: Mine is the red one. Oh, God! Can open. Worms everywhere.

Quote from Ross

Judy Geller: So you kids thanked Dr. Burke for the ride?
Ross: Actually, Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.

Quote from Judy Geller

Judy Geller: So Richard's shopping in the junior section?
Monica: Are we still on that?
Judy Geller: You just know she's got the lQ of a napkin.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Can you believe this place?
Chandler: I know. This is a great apartment.
Joey: I was just in the bathroom and there's mirrors on both sides. So when you're in there, it's like peeing with the Rockettes.
Chandler: Well, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
Jack Geller: Come on, what's a little midlife crisis between friends?
Richard: Jack, would you let it go?
Jack Geller: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50, I got the Porsche. You, you got your own little speedster.
Richard: Guys. Seriously, it's not like that.
Monica: Tell you what. Maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could-
Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence!
Jack Geller: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I like this lily. It's more open and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Is this because of what Ross said?
Rachel: Well, yeah, maybe.
Phoebe: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss? I mean, come on, what is this, 1922?
Rachel: What's 1922?
Phoebe: Just, you know, a long time ago. When men used to tell women what to do a lot. And then there was suffrage, which was a good thing but it sounds horrible.

Quote from Judy Geller

Richard: Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you.
Judy Geller: Thank you, Richard. I appreciate the support.

Quote from Jack Geller

Judy Geller: So, Jack you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Jack Geller: Of course not. With you, it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
Judy Geller: Oh, Jack, stop.
Jack Geller: Come on. It's my birthday.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.

Quote from Monica

Ross: Mon, are you okay?
Monica: You remember that video I found of Mom and Dad? Well, I just caught the live show.
Ross: Ew.

Quote from Ross

Judy Geller: Ross, your son isn't seeing anyone, is he?
Richard: Not that I know of.
Judy Geller: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
Richard: That- That's an idea.
Monica: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.
Judy Geller: Oh?
Richard: Oh?
Ross: Oh.
Judy Geller: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Ross: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some aren't.

Quote from Monica

Judy Geller: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Jack Geller: That's impossible. He's got a twinkie in the city.
Monica: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
Jack Geller: You're the twinkie?
Richard: She's not a twinkie.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: You didn't get it?
Phoebe: No.
Rachel: Why didn't you get it?
Phoebe: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Phoebe, how could you do this to me? This was your idea.
Phoebe: I know, I know. I was gonna get it, but then he came in with this needle. And did you know they do this with needles?
Rachel: Really? You don't say? Because mine was licked on by kittens!

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: That is not a tattoo. That is a nothing. I finally got her in the chair, he barely touched her with the needle, she jumped up screaming and that was it.
Phoebe: Okay, hi. For your information, this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the Earth as seen from a great, great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: I know you're just moving uptown, but I'm really gonna miss you.
Monica: I know. How can you not be across the hall anymore?
Rachel: Yeah. Who's gonna eat all of our food? And tie up our phone lines? And is that my bra? What the hell are you doing with my bra?
Joey: It's not what you think. We used it to fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that? Those kids couldn't even get theirs across the street.

Quote from Monica

Judy Geller: So who's the mystery man?
Monica: Well, he's a doctor.
Judy Geller: A real doctor?
Monica: No, a doctor of meat.


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