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‘The One with Ross's Teeth’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Friends: The One with Ross's Teeth

608. The One with Ross's Teeth

Aired November 18, 1999

When Ross whitens his teeth ahead of a date, he ends up with an insanely bright smile. Meanwhile, Rachel is put in a difficult position when Phoebe reveals she kissed Ralph Lauren.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hello? Ross, could you put up some of these flyers for me?
Ross: [smiling] Yeah.
Phoebe: No! Demon! Demon!

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Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Ooh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

Quote from Ross

Ross: Wow, cool poster. Or should I say, "groovy poster"? So ... where were we?
Hillary: Are those your teeth?
Ross: Oh. You can see them, huh?
Hillary: Yes. They're insanely white.
Ross: I did that for you.
Hillary: What's the matter with you?
Ross: What's the matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999!

Quote from Joey

Rachel: But just come by at lunch so my boss doesn't see you. Because Kim will just freak out and she already doesn't like me very much.
Chandler: That's weird. I don't think my boss likes me either.
Monica: I don't think mine likes me either.
Ross: Maybe it's a universal thing.
Joey: Yeah. Or maybe it's because you're all hanging around here at 1 1 :30 on a Wednesday.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Rachel? Listen, I'm making up flyers to try to get new massage clients. So can I come to Bloomingdale's and use the copy machine?
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think it's kind of weird considering I don't work there anymore.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. What happened?
Rachel: I got a job at Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Well, that's great. Congratulations.
Rachel: A year ago.
Phoebe: You've lasted all year. Good for you.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Look, Janine, I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff, it's too girlie.
Janine: Oh. Like what?
Joey: Like this. Pictures of cute babies we don't know. We can't have that.
Janine: Joey, it's Anne Geddes. She's a famous artist.
Joey: Look, I don't know this baby. I don't know if she's a famous artist or not.

Quote from Joey

Janine: I'm sorry. I just thought I'd try and make the place a little nicer.
Joey: Yeah, but it's too much stuff. You know, like you got the candles and the "foofy schmoofer" thing here. And over here, you got a picture of a watering can.
Janine: Well, I just thought-
Joey: I'm sure it's a famous watering can.

Quote from Joey

Joey: But come on. And what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Janine: It's a curling iron.
Joey: Well, that's okay then. Oh, okay, my towels, for instance. I come into the bathroom, here, and my towel is not on the floor, where I keep it. It's up here on some hook. And it smells different.
Janine: It's clean.
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Janine: It's dry.
Joey: All right, I can make my peace with the clean, dry towels. Hey, okay, also what is with these chips you bought?
Janine: No, no, no. It's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it.
Joey: Well, that's like summer in a bowl.

Quote from Monica

Ross: Hey, guys. What's up?
Chandler: You know ... Oh, my God.
Monica: What happened to your teeth?
Ross: I whitened them.
Chandler: Really?
Ross: What do you think?
Monica: Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Come on, seriously.
Monica: Ross, they're really, really, really white.
Chandler: Yeah. What was wrong with your old, human teeth?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Ross, you know that tonight is your date with Hillary.
Ross: I know. That's why I did it. Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No, no, no. You'll be fine. Hillary's blind, right?
Monica: She will be after tonight.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Oh, hey, Rach. Do you notice anything-
Rachel: Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay, look. I'm sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item, but we're not anymore.
Kim: Oh, really?
Rachel: Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I can't do this. Even though you're a very, very, very beautiful woman. I can't do this. I'm married and I'm sorry. " And then, I don't know why, he said, "And you will never get promoted, especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."

Quote from Joey

Joey: I need to talk to you.
Janine: What's the matter? You upset?
Joey: I'm sorry, but we gotta get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I gotta be a man. Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? That's just the way it has to be.
Janine:Well, if that's what you want, I'll just put it all in my room.
Joey: Good. Great. And hey, thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didn't want to make a big deal out of this. But you could put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Janine: Okay.
Joey: And maybe the watering can there.
Janine: Sure.
Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
Janine: Joey, do you want me to put it all in your room?
Joey: Okay.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Hi, my name's Chandler. I just moved in next door. And I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apocalyptic world for control of the galaxy's last remaining energy source?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Oh, my God. What is this? It's like a guy never lived in here. You gotta be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. It's spreading already.
Joey: It is?
Chandler: Is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Joey: No.
Chandler: Is that your tiny little box that's too small to put anything in?
Joey: No.
Chandler: No. Okay, this is not good. You are a guy, okay? This is a "guy's" place. If you let this go, you're going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking stuff.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: You're right. I'll talk to her.
Chandler: Talk to her. Be a man!
Joey: I'm a man.
Chandler: You have to defend yourself.
Monica: Chandler, come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Chandler: Be right there, sweetums. Totally different situation.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Is this Hillary, your hot assistant chef, Hillary?
Monica: Yeah.
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Monica: No. The one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
Ross: Still, I could tell. She was into me.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Now, you will not believe this. But I was in the copy room making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
Rachel: Oh, my God. Did you talk to him?
Phoebe: Yeah, a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser.
Rachel: What? What? You kissed him?
Phoebe: Totally.
Rachel: [gasps] Phoebe, are you serious?
Phoebe: Yeah, I was just in there and he came in, introduced himself and the next thing I know, we're making out, you know.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know he's married?
Phoebe: No.
Rachel: Phoebe.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do, ask every guy I make out with if he's married? No, yeah, I should.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Kim, hi.
Kim: Uh-huh.
Rachel: So I handed in that marketing report, and I never got to hear what you thought.
Kim: I didn't read it.
Rachel: So, wow, the spring line's really gonna be great this year, huh?
Kim: Yeah.
Rachel: So I hear Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room.
Kim: Tell me everything.

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