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‘The One with Christmas in Tulsa’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Christmas in Tulsa

910. The One with Christmas in Tulsa

Aired December 12, 2002

Chandler is forced to spend Christmas away from his wife and friends, prompting him to look back on Christmases past and his relationship with Monica. [CLIP SHOW]

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: He sprang to his sleigh, To his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew, Like the down of a thistle, But I heard him exclaim, Ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night."
Joey: Wow. That was great. You really wrote that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.

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Quote from Ross

Chandler: We have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Monica: It's so unfair. You don't even like your job.
Chandler: So. Who does?
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I love my job.
Rachel: I can't wait to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get enough dinosaurs.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a colleague.
Monica: What does she do there?
Chandler: She's regional vice president. She's just below me.
Monica: She did what?
Chandler: Below me.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined. Now give me my real gift.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Thanks. I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: It's hard enough not seeing you during the week but for Christmas... If this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Thanks. I'll see you New Year's Day.
Monica: You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Monica: No.
Chandler: And to all a good night!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: All right, everybody. I know that is Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there is no call for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing" on the back of my chair. By the way, you can all call me Chandler.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You hear that? You may not be with your families but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know what? I know what will cheer you up. I had a talk with the boys in New York.
I told them about all your hard work and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Ken: "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. Then tomorrow, you get to have Christmas in your own houses. Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Ken: You can come to my house.
Chandler: [chuckles] No, thanks.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough we're working New Year's Eve. Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve?

Quote from Monica

Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Chandler: Well, no, it's just me and Wendy.
Monica: Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: It is. Did I not tell you about her?
Monica: Mm-hmm. About the time you told me about New Year's Eve.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I love it.
Ross: Really? You're not gonna return it?
Rachel: Well, not this second.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Look at that. That's a Christmas miracle.
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Joey: Hey, hey. Who'd you miss the most?
Chandler: Monica.
Joey: Gotcha.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?
Rachel: Well, what do you really wanna do?
Chandler: I have not thought this through.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Here, pass those around.
Ross: "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." How did you know?
Rachel: What? Are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: I thought it was time we started thinking about other people. And besides, this gift still says, "I love you guys."
Joey: Mine says, "To Lillian Myers."
Chandler: I don't have a job.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Actuary? No. Bookkeeper? No. Topless dancer?

Quote from Ross

Monica: Where's everybody else?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Monica: You are such a good boss. Is she pretty?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Ross: Answer faster. Answer faster.
Chandler: I don't know.
Ross: Answer better. Answer better.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Monica: What?!
Chandler: Well, she didn't win.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: All right, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Second prettiest that year. I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably-
Rachel: Oh, Chandler, stop talking.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about but you're getting ham on my only tie.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma?

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I'm a kept man.
Monica: You are. Honey, here's 20 bucks. Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow.


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