The Songs of Phoebe Buffay Page 1 of 5    

The Songs of Phoebe Buffay

The unique musical talents of Phoebe Buffay, who often performed her songs at Central Perk.

Quote from Phoebe in The One with Ross's Denial

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] I found you in my bed, How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery, Little black curly hair, Little black curly hair, Little black, little black, little black, Little black curly hair.

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Quote from Phoebe in The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Went to the store, Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends, All kinds of crap, Said all you need is, To write them a song, Now you haven't heard it yet, So don't try to sing along, No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah, Saw Santa Claus, He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy, And Rachel and Chandler, [indistinct]
Happy holidays, everybody!

Quote from Phoebe in The One That Could Have Been (Part 2)

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] It only takes two heart attacks, To finally make you see, One of them won't do it, But the second will set you free, Tell all your hate and anger, It's time to say goodbye, And that is just what I will do, Soon as those bastards I worked for die!

Quote from Phoebe in The One Where Eddie Moves In

Record Producer: From the top.
Phoebe: playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? - Okay, sorry. I'm just not getting that everyone gets how smelly this cat actually is. Maybe if we could talk about this because I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Record Producer: Honey, we can talk about this. It's just that this is costing like $100 a minute to be in here.
Phoebe: So the cat stinks, but you love it. Let's go.

Quote from Phoebe in The One with Joey's New Girlfriend

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] "Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?" This chick sounds good. "Smelly cat"- Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.

Quote from Phoebe in The One with the Blackout

Phoebe: [playing her guitar, singing] New York City has no power, And the milk is getting sour, But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy. [writes the song down]

Quote from Phoebe in The One with the Baby on the Bus

Phoebe: Hey, Rach, you want to hear the song I'm singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] I'm in the shower, And I'm writing a song, Stop me if you've heard it, My skin is soapy and my hair is wet, And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget.

Quote from Phoebe in The One with the Baby on the Bus

Rachel: But, I mean, come on. You cannot do this to her. I have to do this to her?
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Lather, rinse, repeat, And lather, rinse, repeat, And lather, rinse, repeat, As needed.

Quote from Phoebe in The One After the Superbowl (Part 1)

Phoebe: I'm gonna play some songs about grandparents, okay?
[playing guitar and singing] Now Grandma's a person, Who everyone likes, She bought you a train, And a bright shiny bike, But lately she hasn't, Been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her, She looked so much thinner, Now your mom and your dad said, She moved to Peru, But the truth is she died, And someday you will too.

Quote from Phoebe in The One with the Baby on the Bus

Stephanie: [playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?
Phoebe: No, no. I'm sorry, it's: [singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat-
Stephanie: Smelly cat, smelly cat-
Phoebe: Better! Much better. Good. And you know, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Phoebe: You want to try it again?
Stephanie: Yeah. From the top?
Phoebe: Okay, there is no "top," all right? That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat." Why don't you just follow me?
Phoebe and Stephanie: [playing guitar and singing together] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, It's not your fault-
Phoebe: Okay, that's too much. Sorry.

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