Joey: You want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal, your buddy. Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey.
Chandler: You know what? If you're going to do that, if you're going to name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. Oh, come on, Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very lovable once you get to know him.
Joey: Joey's lovable too. But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there.
Chandler: Chandler will be there, too. I mean, he might be a little late but he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda if what you need him for is that you're really hot.

Ross: Any word from Susan?
Carol: She said she's having so much fun with Emily.
Ross: By the by, did it ever occur to you that maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Carol: What's too much fun?
Ross: The kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married.
Carol: Oh, my God! You are so paranoid.
Ross: Am l?
Carol: Yes.
Ross: Am l?

Phoebe: Wow. Carol really messed you up.
Ross: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah. She turned you into this untrusting, crazy, jealous ... sycophant! All right, so I don't know what "sycophant" means, but the rest is right.

Chandler: Hi. You're crazy. Okay, this is Emily. Emily is straight.
Ross: How do you know? I mean, we thought Carol was straight before I married her.
Phoebe: Yeah, definitely. I don't like the name Ross.
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I'm down.
Phoebe: No, I meant for the baby.
Ross: Oh. What's wrong with Ross?
Phoebe: It's just that something like this would never happen to The Hulk, you know.
Ross: Actually, that's not true. In The Incredible Hulk, number 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found- You know. Never mind. My girlfriend's a lesbian.

Ross: Turns out that Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah. They're going to the theater together. They're going to dinner. They're going horseback riding.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun.
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar. Okay. For like six months before Carol and I split up all I heard was, "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Chandler: You actually think something could happen between Emily and Susan?
Ross: Hey, they're going to the gym together. Two women ... stretching. You know, they take a steam, things get playful. Didn't you see Personal Best?
Joey: No, but I'm gonna!

Carol: I can't speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Ross: Carol, so were we. Just imagine for a moment that Susan meets someone, and they hit it off. They're coming back from the theater, and they stop at a pub for drinks. They're laughing. Someone innocently touches someone else. There's electricity. It's new. It's exciting.
Are you saying there isn't the slightest possibility of something happening?
Carol: Maybe.
Ross: Oh, my God. I didn't really believe it until you just said it!

Chandler: From now on, I have no first name.
Joey: So you're just Bing?
Chandler: I have no name.

Phoebe: I went through this book and found nothing. I want a name that's really strong and confident. You know, like ... Exxon!
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.

Joey: You want a strong name? How about The Hulk?
Phoebe: No, I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The".

Phoebe: Maybe I will just name him The Hulk.
Joey: I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it. That's what I wanted to name my kid that.