Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The One with the Dozen Lasagnas’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Friends: The One with the Dozen Lasagnas

112. The One with the Dozen Lasagnas

Aired January 12, 1995

Monica struggles to give away lasagnas after she bakes twelve of them for her aunt, only to find out she's a vegetarian. Meanwhile, Ross is determined not to find out the sex of his baby, even though everyone else knows, and Phoebe is horrified when Paulo makes a pass at her.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I could find my way out of there like that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool. It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.
Chandler: And we're done with the yogurt.

Rate

Quote from Ross

Carol:The sex of the baby, Ross.
Ross: Oh. You know the sex of the baby?
Carol: So, do you want to know?
Ross: No. I don't want to know. Absolutely not. You shouldn't know until you look down there and see, "Oh, there it is." Or isn't.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: That's the rule.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule. if anything, you owe me a table.
Joey: How did you get there?
Chandler: Well, I believe this piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.
Joey: You knew about that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: I can't believe you don't wanna know. I couldn't not know. If the doctor knows, Carol and Susan knows-
Monica: And Monica knows.
Ross: How could you know? I don't even know.
Monica: Carol called to thank me for the lasagna. I asked. She told me.
Joey: So what's it gonna be? [Monica whispers in Joey's ear.]
Ross: Oh, great! Now he knows.
Monica: I'm sorry. l'm just excited about being an aunt.
Joey: Or an uncle!

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
Monica: Was it..?
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Fine. What about the birds?
Joey: I don't know. Birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here. Eat something."

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Why have I never tasted these before?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot, because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
Rachel: God. Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal raisin cookies that I've ever had.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: I guess you don't.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing. I'm feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steel books.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Ross, listen. Do you know that right now your baby is only this big? This is your baby." [holding two fingers a couple of inches apart, moving them as he talks] "Hi, Daddy."
Ross: Hello.
Joey: "How come you don't live with Mommy? How come Mommy lives with that other lady? What's a lesbian?"

Quote from Carol

Carol: Don't you wanna know about the sex?
Ross: The sex? I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. But when you throw in Tanya.
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do? Call lmmigration? I could call lmmigration.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: [talking cutesy] I love babies with their little baby shoes and their little baby toes and their little hands.
Chandler: Okay, you're gonna have to stop that. Forever.

Quote from Ross

Susan: Hello, Ross.
Ross: Susan.
Susan: So? So did you hear?
Ross: Yes, we did. Everything's A-Okay.
Susan: Oh, that's so cool!
Carol: It really is.
Susan: Do we know?
Carol: We certainly do. It's going to be a-
Ross: Woah, woah. Hello? A guy who doesn't wanna know is standing here.
Susan: Well, is it what we thought it would be?
Carol: Uh-huh.
Ross: Hey, what? Okay, what did we think it was going to be? No, no. I don't wanna know. Don't wanna know. I should probably just go.

Quote from Ross

Carol: Well, thanks for the books.
Ross: No problem. [kisses Carol, pats her belly] Okay. [fist bumps Susan in the arm] Susan.
Susan: Who should we call first? Your folks or Deb and Rhona?
[intercom buzzes]
Carol: Hello?
Ross: [on the intercom] Never mind. I don't wanna know.

Quote from Joey

Joey: How about if we split it?
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Do you think we're ready for something like that?
Joey: Why not?
Chandler: Well, it's just a big commitment. What if one of us wants to move out?
Joey: Why? Are you moving out?
Chandler: l'm not moving out.
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out, right?
Chandler: Yes. Yes. It's just, with my last roommate-
Joey: I know all about Kip.
Chandler: We bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married. And things got pretty ugly.
Joey: Well, let me ask you something. Was Kip a better roommate than me?
Chandler: Oh, don't do that.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right. You know Paolo?
Ross: l'm familiar with his work, yes.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: He made a move on me.
Joey: Woah, the store will be open tomorrow.
Chandler: More coffee over here, please.

Quote from Ross

Ross: You have to tell her. You have to tell her. It's your moral obligation as a friend, as a woman.
I think it's a feminist issue. Guys? Guys?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Feminist issue? That's where I went.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Okay, you pick one.
Joey: Okay. How about the ladybugs?
Chandler: Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining?
Joey: Fine! You want to get the birds? Get the birds!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't. Kip would have liked the birds.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: We haven't known each other for that long a time. And, um, there are three things you should know about me: One, my friends are the most important thing in my life. Two, I never lie. And three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world.

Page 2 

 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode