Mike Hannigan Quotes Page 1 of 4

Quote from The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song

Mike: Did you just hit my dad?
Phoebe: Yes. I'm sorry. I've never met a boyfriend's parents before.
Mike: But, I mean you have met humans before, right?

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Quote from The One with Rachel's Phone Number

Phoebe: Hey, Mike, it's me. Listen, is Is Ross near you?
Mike: No, I just left.
Phoebe: Well, you have to go back in.
Mike: What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?

Quote from The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song

Bitsy: Please, darling, let's be honest. You can have all the sailor fun you want with that one. But let's be real.
Mike: All right, stop. All Phoebe has done is try and get you to like her. Maybe it's not clear but she did her best. And yeah, She's a little different than you are.
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth.
Mike: So what? I mean, if I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her, you just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you can't even be civil to the woman I love-
Bitsy: The woman you what?
Phoebe: Yeah, the woman you what?
Mike: The woman I love. I love you. Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents and Tom and Sue. Who are, by the way, the most sinfully boring people I've ever met in my life.

Quote from The One with Princess Consuela

Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Joey: What? No. The only reason I am going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I am gonna make them stay here.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown up.

Quote from The One with Rachel's Phone Number

[phone rings]
Mike: I'll get it! Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. It's for you.
Ross: I don't understand what just happened here.

Quote from The One with Phoebe's Wedding

Monica: Now, in regards to the toasts, okay, you wanna keep them short. Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing, and get out.
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Monica: It's 2101, and I am not amused.

Quote from The One with the Sharks

Mike: I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there.

Quote from The One with the Pediatrician

Mike: Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer. Apparently, I'm not a funny guy.

Quote from The One with the Pediatrician

Phoebe: Well, why did you go along with that?
Mike: Because I was told that I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl, which I did.
Phoebe: That's true.

Quote from The One with Rachel's Phone Number

Mike: So you like the beer?
Ross: I do. I do. Although, it's actually a lager.
Mike: Huh. What's the difference between beer and lager?
Ross: I don't know. We could look it up.
Mike: Things are about to get wild.

Quote from The One with Rachel's Phone Number

Ross: Hey, you guys.
Phoebe: Hey. I'll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Mike: Stout. That's a kind of beer.
[Ross gets up and leaves]

Quote from The One with Phoebe's Rats

Mike: You can't keep a rat in your apartment. They're extremely unsanitary. I mean, they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Phoebe: What are those?
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments.

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