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‘The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)

724. The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)

Aired May 17, 2001

Joey struggles to get away from work to officiate Monica and Chandler's wedding. Meanwhile Phoebe thinks Monica is pregnant and Chandler overhears her discussing the news with Rachel.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.

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Quote from Ross

Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No.
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents.

Quote from Chandler

Nora: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles: Well, that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora: Honey, it isn't good luck.

Quote from Ross

Ross: This is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince. My soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us. And I only want to spend it with you. My prince. My soul mate. My friend. Unless you don't want to. You go.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: No, that's okay. Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you.
Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

Quote from Rachel

Chandler: I love you. And I know about the baby.
Monica: What baby?
Chandler: Our baby.
Monica: We have a baby?
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
Monica: I didn't take a pregnancy test. Then who did?
Phoebe: Look at them. Aw. And they're gonna have a baby.
Rachel: Uh-huh.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hi. Oh, great hat. I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Priest: I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. They're my friends, Monica Stephanopolis. And Chandler Acidophilus.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Oh, my God.
Phoebe: I know. Monica's gonna have a baby. Hey, can this count as her "something new"?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Rachel: No. Why?
Phoebe: Just for the future. This is hardly a commercial for it.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: What are you doing?
Chandler: Panicking. And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey. Did Chandler show up yet?
Rachel: We got him back. Everything's fine.
Joey: Damn it!
Rachel: What? Why? Where are you?
Joey: I'm still on the set.
Rachel: Joey, the wedding is in less than an hour.
Joey: I know. I'm sorry. The guy's drunk. They won't let me go until we get it.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm gonna have to find another minister.
Joey: No. No, I'm the minister. All right, look, put them both on the phone and I'll marry them right now.
Rachel: Joey, I have to go.
Joey: Hey, don't you hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power!

Quote from Jack Geller

Ross: Has anyone seen Chandler?
Jack Geller: I thought he was with you.
Ross: He was with me. We're playing a little game. Hide-and-seek.
Jack Geller: You can't ask us, son. That's cheating.
Ross: You're right. Thanks for keeping me honest, Dad.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler's gone again.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Why would you play hide-and-seek with someone you know is a flight risk?

Quote from Chandler

Priest: Are you Chandler?
Chandler: Are you Joey?

Quote from Judy Geller

Judy Geller: I wish your grandmother had lived to see this.
Monica: She's right there.
Judy Geller: Not that old crone. My mother.

Quote from Joey

Priest: Dearly beloved-
Joey: That's my line! I can take it from here. Thanks. Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now but you won't be Memorial Day weekend, 2002. Well, let's get started before the groom takes off again, okay.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: You want to know if I'm sure?
[Chandler kisses Monica]
Joey: You may now kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in me by the State of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh, wait. Do you take each other?
Chandler: I do.
Monica: I do.
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Ross: Rings?
Joey: Oh, crap. Okay. Let's do the rings. We good? Yeah? Good? Once again I pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss her again.

Quote from Joey

Joey: I'm having surgery.
Director: What?
Joey: I just made up the stuff about the wedding, because I didn't want you to worry about me. But I'm having surgery today.
Director: What kind of surgery?
Joey: Transplant.
Director: But you're supposed to work on Monday.
Joey: Hair transplant.
Director: But you're not bald.
Joey: It's not on my head.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I talked to Chandler's parents again.
Phoebe: You said he was missing?
Ross: No. I made it seem like I just called to chat. I'm pretty sure they both think I'm interested.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay, but before you do that, I need you to talk to me.
Monica: About what?
Rachel: I'm never gonna get married!
Monica: Yeah, you will. The right guy's just around the corner. Okay, are we done with that?
Rachel: No, Monica, I'm serious. Uh, maybe I should just forget about it and become a lesbian or something.
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have you.
Rachel: Well, maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Monica: Rachel? Are you okay?

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Come on, we're going home.
Chandler: No, no. I can't do that.
Phoebe: Why not?
Chandler: Because if I go home, we're gonna become the Bings. I can't be the Bings.
Ross: What's wrong with being the Bings?
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages. They yell, they fight, and they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: It's not just their marriage. Look at yours. Look at everybody's. The only person who can make marriage work is Paul Newman. And I've met me and I am no Paul Newman. I don't race cars. I don't make make popcorn. None of my proceeds go to charity.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Look, Chandler right now no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: You're right. It is huge. So why don't we take it just a little bit at a time. Okay. Forget getting married for a sec. Just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower? That's not scary, right?
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by "we."

Quote from Monica

Rachel: We can't find Chandler- His vest. We can't find Chandler's vest.
Monica: How can that be? Wait, are you serious?
Phoebe: We found the vest. I mean, we're going to have to keep an eye on it, make sure we don't lose it again.
Monica: Oh, wow. Okay, don't scare me like that, okay? I mean, for a minute there, I was like, "Oh, my God! The worst has happened!"


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