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‘The One with Phoebe's Cookies’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Friends: The One with Phoebe's Cookies

703. The One with Phoebe's Cookies

Aired October 19, 2000

When Monica asks for Phoebe's grandmother's cookie recipe, Phoebe gives her an old cookie so they can attempt to reconstruct the recipe. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to teach Joey how to sail, and Chandler joins Monica's dad at the country club.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way, jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.


Quote from Phoebe

Monica: I mean, what about friends of your grandma? Wouldn't they have the recipe?
Phoebe: Well, you know, I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, "Nestley Toulouse."
Monica: What was her name?
Phoebe: Nestley Toulouse.
Monica: Nestlé Toll House?
Phoebe: Ugh. You Americans always butcher the French language.
Monica: Phoebe, is this the recipe?
Phoebe: Yes! Oh.
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out that recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time.
Phoebe: I know! You see, it is stuff like this which is why you're burning in hell!

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: If you don't sail your boat, what do you do on there?
Joey: Oh, it's great. It's a great place to just kind of sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips.
Chandler: Well, it's good that you finally have a place to do that.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Hey, guys. So, what do you think?
Ross: About what?
Rachel: What?
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint.
Joey: Eyes. No, no. Your eyes. No. Chandler's eyes.
Chandler: I got glasses.
Ross: You always had glasses.
Chandler: No, I didn't.
Ross: Are you sure?
Rachel: Yeah, didn't you used to have a pair? They were really round and burgundy, and they made you look kind of-
Joey: Feminine.
Rachel: Yes.
Chandler: No.
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. I think they make you look really sexy.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right?
Monica: Of course. [mouths] I had no idea!

Quote from Ross

Monica: I'm sure Dad doesn't care. He probably thought it was funny. He'll be telling this story for years.
Chandler: I don't want him to tell this story for years.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story about how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
Monica: I wasn't escaping.
Ross: Then how'd you get caught in the barbed wire?
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: You were trying to eat it!

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: You know, I bet it would actually make my grandma really happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's looking up at us and smiling right now.
Ross: Looking up?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, no. She was really nice to me but she's in hell for sure.

Quote from Ross

Ross: My dad wants to know if you want to play racquetball with us.
Monica: Great. Dad must really like you. He doesn't ask just anyone to play.
Ross: Yeah, and he didn't really ask for you. He asked for "Chauncey." I assumed he meant you.
Chandler: Did you correct him?
Ross: No, I thought it would be more fun this way.

Quote from Rachel

Phoebe: So, what do you guys want for an engagement gift?
Chandler: That's okay, Pheebs, we're not having a party, so you don't have to-
Monica: [stammering] If someone wants to give us a present, we don't want to deprive them of that joy.
Rachel: Oh, you know what you should get them, one of those little portable CD players.
Monica: Oh, I already have one.
Phoebe: Unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Rachel: Yeah, and by "someone" she means Joey.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: I want your grandmother's cookie recipe.
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Monica: Uh-huh. Yeah.
Phoebe: You mean the one my grandma made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Ahoy!
Chandler: Hey. How's the boat?
Joey: Great. I'm really getting into this sailing stuff.
Monica: Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina?
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there.

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