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‘The One with the Ick Factor’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Friends: The One with the Ick Factor

122. The One with the Ick Factor

Aired May 4, 1995

The group mock Monica after she admits she lied about her age when she started dating a younger man, but she's surprised to find out she wasn't the only one who lied. Meanwhile, Ross is envious when Rachel reveals she's been having erotic dreams about Chandler and Joey, and Phoebe takes a job as Chandler's secretary.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: They even do you.
Chandler: They "do" me?
Phoebe: You know, like, um okay. Okay, um, "Could that report be any later?"
[Joey and Ross laugh]
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh, Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, you do.
Ross: "The hills are alive with the sound of music."
Joey: "My scone."
Joey, Ross and Phoebe: "My scone."
Chandler: I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
[Ross and Joey laugh]
Chandler: That is so not- That is so not- That- Oh, shut up!


Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Well, last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.
Ross: [chuckles] I love it when we share.
Chandler: You okay?
Ross: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler: I'm sorry. It was a one-time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: No, it's for Carol when she goes into labor. All she has to do is dial 55-JlMBO.
Chandler: A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Tell me what?
Monica: Look at you. You won't even look at him.
Chandler: Oh, come on. Tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream that you and I were doing it on this table.
Chandler: Wow.
Joey: Excellent dream score.
Ross: Why would you dream that?
Chandler: More importantly was I any good?
Rachel: Well, you were pretty damned good.
Chandler: Interesting. Because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Ross: Phees, why would you want to operate a drill press?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term work. You know, till I get back some of my massage clients.
Chandler: Pirates again?
Phoebe: No. Nothing like that. I'm just such a dummy. I taught this "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Chandler: Well, Pheebs, I don't know if it'd be your thing because it involves a lot of being normal for a large portion of the day.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [sultry voice] Mr. Bing's office. No, sorry, he's in a meeting right now.
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right-
Phoebe: And will he know what this is in reference to? And he has your number? All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye. [normal voice] Ross says hi.

Quote from Ross

Ross: [on the phone] Yeah, hi. I was just beeped. No, Andre is not here. Third time today. Yes, I am sure. I do not perform those kind of services.
Joey: Services? Oh, services.
Ross: Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. That's right. That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir. No, believe me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. Alrighty, bye-bye.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Oh, God. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins.
Ethan: Who?

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