‘The Where Rachel Rachel Goes Back to Work’
Season 9, Episode 11 - Aired January 9, 2003
When Rachel visits the office during her maternity leave, she becomes convinced the guy who's covering her is angling for her job. Meanwhile, Joey gets Phoebe a part as an extra on Days of our Lives.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Look, I'll just get my old job back.
Monica: No, I want you to have a job that you love, not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.
Chandler: I quit, and you learn what I do?
Quote from Monica
Monica: There's always gonna be a reason not to do this but I think once the baby comes, we'll forget about all those reasons.
Chandler: I guess. I mean, it's always gonna be scary when we have a baby.
Monica: It's gonna be really scary. I mean, God, when we have a baby there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control. I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess. I won't have time to clean it. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer and messes up all the ribbons? What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer because the baby's stuff takes up all the space? Where will all the ribbons go?
Chandler: Should we go make a baby right now before you change your mind?
Monica: Yes, please.
Chandler: Okay. And I promise I will not fake it this time.
Monica: Well, I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Okay, it's baby time. Pants off, Bing. Didn't see you there, Geller.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, could I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe: Thank you. [Phoebe pours Joey's coffee into a thermos and takes his muffin] Thank you.
Joey: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?
Phoebe: I'm sorry. It's just, I'm a little short on cash.
Joey: Well, if you want, I could loan you some money.
Phoebe: Oh, no. No, I learned never to borrow money from friends. That's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: Hey. Why are you all dressed up?
Ross: Oh, Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?
Joey: She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?
Rachel: Well, because if one more person says, "What a cute little boy", I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Okay, let's start with the A's. Advertising.
Chandler: Wait. Advertising, that's a great idea.
Monica: Well, don't you wanna look through the rest?
Chandler: I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.
Monica: You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I'll get to use my shredder.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you. Give me the phone.
Chandler: "The phone. Bringing you closer to people who have phones."
Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody."
Quote from Rachel
Gavin: I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taking over your job.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Gavin: Oh, your baby's so cute. But why would you put a pink bow on a boy?
[Ross restrains Rachel]
Quote from Chandler
Steve: So do you have any other questions about advertising?
Chandler: No. No. But let me show you what I can do. "Bagels and doughnuts. Round food for every mood."
Steve: Monica warned me you might do that.
Quote from Rachel
Mr. Zelner: Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas.
Rachel: Hi, Mr. Zelner.
Mr. Zelner: Rachel. I see you've met Gavin. You know, I must say, when you left us, we weren't sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin.
Rachel: Well, that's great. That's great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where do you plan on flying off to?
Mr. Zelner: That's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he'll make the right decision.
Rachel: Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power.