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‘The One Where Paul's the Man’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Friends: The One Where Paul's the Man

622. The One Where Paul's the Man

Aired May 4, 2000

Despite Paul telling Elizabeth to end her relationship with Ross, the pair of them sneak up to Paul's cabin for a romantic getaway. Meanwhile, Chandler freaks out when Monica adds their name to a long waiting list for a wedding venue.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hi, you guys.
Rachel: What's the matter?
Phoebe: Well, it's just one of these situations that I just hate. You know, a massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmut Peltz Exhibit at the Morgan Chase Museum.
Joey: Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Phoebe: No. No, it's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us.
Chandler: I'll give up my ticket.
Joey: Me, too.
Phoebe: Okay. That's so generous.
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous, too.
Phoebe: Great. Okay, then it's just us girls.
Monica: Great.
Rachel: Yeah. So what is the exhibit?
Phoebe: It's mostly just photographs of, um, lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Joey: Oh, man!

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Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Well, I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
Rachel: I'm gonna do it, too.
Phoebe: Me, too.
Rachel: Really? Who would you marry?
Phoebe: I don't know. I don't have anyone right now.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay.
Monica: Phoebe, that's not-
Phoebe: Don't even get me started on yours.

Quote from Chandler

Answer Machine: You've reached Monica and Chandler's. If you're listening to this message, we're probably screening.
Chandler: Yeah, we are.
Hildy: Hi, this is Hildy from the Morgan Chase Museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I wanted to let her know there's been a cancellation. And if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available.
Chandler: This is Chandler Bing. This is Chandler Bing. Yes, the groom. No, not the groom!

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: Oh, here it is. Joey, why did you sign it, "son of a bitch"?
Joey: I didn't do that. Who would've done that?
Dry Cleaner: Son of a bitch.
Phoebe: Okay. Maybe ask this guy.
Dry Cleaner: You. Get out of my shop.
Phoebe: What did he do?
Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife.
Phoebe: Joey!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, I did not go out with your wife. Okay? I went out with her.
Dry Cleaner: That's my wife. Get out! [yelling in Russian]
Phoebe: Well, we should go.
Joey: Yeah.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Ross. Listen. Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend.

Quote from Monica

Ross: Thanks? But I have plans. Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Monica: Oh, that's great.
Monica: Yeah. Think of all the money that you're gonna make.
Ross: Why? What?
Monica: Well, her father pays you for babysitting, right?

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Besides, Rachel's going out with Elizabeth's father. So he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils.
Rachel: See, Ross, all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Rachel's gonna need to yell sweet nothings in his ear.
Chandler: Ross?
Ross: Oh, come on! Guys, that's funny, you know? 'Cause he's got like a hearing aid, you know? 'Cause he's all old.
[Paul starts laughing]
Paul: One second. Okay, look, Ross. So you know, since Lizzie likes you so much I've decide to accept the fact that you are going out with her.
Ross: Really? Okay, that's great.
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie and now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Ross: All right, look. I realize it upsets you.
Paul: Yes, it does.
Ross: But Elizabeth and I are both adults so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it.
Paul: I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship, and have you fired.
Ross: Oh. A man with a plan!

Quote from Joey

Joey: It was so cool when it was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be cracking up about something. Then I get fired off Days of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him. That smug Belushi bastard.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: I love museums. Soaking up all the culture.
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Where do you want to start?
Rachel: Ooh, the gift shop.
Monica: Yeah.

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