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‘The One with Rachel's Dream’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Rachel's Dream

919. The One with Rachel's Dream

Aired April 17, 2003

After Rachel helps Joey prepare for a romantic scene on Days of our Lives, she starts to have feelings for him. Meanwhile, Phoebe starts playing guitar outside Monica's restaurant, and Chandler takes Ross with him on a trip to Vermont.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. I seem to have forgotten a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? Thank you. Okay, a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, Band-Aids, shaving cream, after shave. And I feel like I'm forgetting something. Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.

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Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, we're still on that.
Monica: I didn't say your songs weren't good enough.
Phoebe: Well, then what's wrong with them? What, they don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: Tiny portions?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, "Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it."

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: You know what, when I'm in the coffeehouse bopping along to one of your songs I'm wearing earplugs.
Phoebe: Earplugs or cloves of garlic?
Monica: You know what? You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside my bar sales have gone up like crazy.
Phoebe: What are people having, the garlic martini?

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Okay, quick question. By a show of hands how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside?
Phoebe: Okay, okay. How many of you enjoyed the music outside?
Monica: All right, let me ask you this question. How many of you thought the music was fine but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant?
Phoebe: Okay, well, who identified this restaurant's tone as "pretentious-comma-garlicky"?
Monica: Okay, who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretension never hurt anyone?
Phoebe: Okay, well, all right, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll-taking?

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: All right, here's a question. Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now?
Phoebe: Well, who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great?
Monica: I'm sorry.
Phoebe: I'm sorry too.
Monica: Hey, you wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?
Phoebe: Yeah, as long as it's free. The food here is ridiculously overpr- Who hopes the hand-raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Wow. I haven't seen you this worked-up since you did that dog-food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog.
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: You wanna come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing okay?
Rachel: Are you serious?
Joey: Yeah. Yeah. You just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
Rachel: That was an honest mistake.
Joey: Right. "Oh, my God. Is this the men's room? I feel so foolish. Have you always known you wanted to be an actor?"
Rachel: Yeah, that was an awesome day.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Look, this is ridiculous. I'm not paying for that room, okay? Well, thank you very much. Yeah, I'm going to Vermont.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Don't worry about it, just use your travel insurance.
Chandler: I don't have travel insurance.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] And there's a country called Argentina, It's a place I've never seen, But I'm told for fifty pesos, You can buy a human spleen, Human spleen. Olé!

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] It wasn't just that she was fat, The woman smelled like garbage- Everyone! [playing guitar and singing] It wasn't just that she was fat, The woman smelled like garbage.
Classy, huh?

Quote from Ross

Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing. I have a reservation.
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn, Mr. Bing. So where are you joining us from?
Chandler: New York.
Ross: The Big Apple.
Chandler: I'm sorry. He's a little bit wound up. We had to stop at every maple-candy stand on the way here.
Ross: I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Chandler: Well, that's impossible. Can you check again, please.
Ross: Check again, please.

Quote from Ross

Ross: What'd you get?
Chandler: USA Today.
Ross: Nice. Put it with the others.
Chandler: And I also got two more apples.
Ross: We're four short of a bushel!

Quote from Ross

Ross: God, I feel so alive. I love being in the country!
Chandler: Also, got these great salt and pepper shakers from the restaurant.
Ross: That's not cool.
Chandler: Dude, none of this is cool.
Ross: Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: A hair dryer, no, no, no. But shampoos and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. Now, the salt shaker is off limits. Ah, but, the salt... I wish I'd thought this through.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: I think I get what you mean, though. Like, the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs- Oh, you already got that.
Ross: Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I mean, you saw him do a love scene. Maybe you don't have a thing for Joey. Maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Rachel: Well- Well, it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream.
Monica: Of course it was. Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Rachel: Oh, you took the same class twice.
Monica: It was hard!

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Phoebe, maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here. But my restaurant, it's sort of an upscale place.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, okay. I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.

Quote from Monica

Monica: You wanna talk about quality? Have you ever heard of a "key"? It's what some people sing in.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Well, at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients, Monica.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Oh, thank God, it's just you. I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen, Monica. The garlic's not gonna overuse itself.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: All right, let's settle this. Come on.
Phoebe: Get your garlic peelers off me.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Joey: Oh, man. I thought I got it all.
Rachel: How? How?
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothie, right? And I couldn't find this little plastic thingy that goes in the top of the blender. And I thought, "Well, you know, how important can that be?" Right? Turns out, very.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: I got you something from Vermont.
Monica: Besides tampons and salt? Oh, my God. Maple candy. That's so sweet of you. That's weird, it's empty.
Ross: Hi, you guys. What's going on? You guys wanna hang out or...? Do you guys hear a buzzing?


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