Joey: I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.
Sarah: I'm sorry. I don't own a TV.
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?

Monica: Well, at least you took me down with you.
Phoebe: I'm so sorry. I just I keep thinking about Mike. I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why? Why do I miss Mike? That's just That's gonna go away, right?
Monica: Well, I guess. In time. Yeah. I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler. Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.

Mike: Hello?
Monica: Okay, Mike? Enough is enough. Now, you love Phoebe, and she loves you. So you need to get over your l-never-wanna-get-married thing and step up.
Mike: Who is this?
Monica: This is Monica. I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David. And he's gonna propose, and she's gonna say yes but I know she really wants to be with you.
Mike: He's gonna propose?
Monica: I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair.
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should. I'm not gonna stand in the way of that.
Neither should you.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do. I tell you what to do. Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in the humidity? [dial tone] Damn it.

Monica: Oh, God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this. Let's go.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? "Uh, Phoebe, um, I would be honored if, uh, uh..." Spit it out, David!
David: Uh, Phoebe, um...

David: Boy, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, huh?
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
David: Still, a girl calls you by her ex-boyfriend's name that's not a good thing, right?
Chandler: David, let me stop you there. Because I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey if the thing you want advice about is pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.

Ross: I've gotta say, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me give my speech. Ooh, and I have a surprise. I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference. That's right. These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Do you have anything that will get us out of them?

Chandler: Yeah, Ross, we're excited to hear the speech, but the rest of the time we're gonna want to do island stuff.
Phoebe: I think David will probably want to hear a few lectures.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist.
Phoebe: No, no. He's been in Minsk for eight years and if he gets too much direct sunlight he'll die.

Sarah: Oh, my God. I can't believe you're here.
Joey: I think I've been recognized. This happens all the time.
Sarah: Dr. Geller? I'm such a huge fan.
Joey: That never happens.
Sarah: I've been following your career for years. I can't wait for your key note speech.
Ross: Well, this is very flattering-
Sarah: I'd love your autograph.
Ross: Well, sure. Um, "Dear..."
Sarah: Sarah.
Ross: "Sarah. I dig you. Dr. Ross Geller."

Ross: Sarah, I'd like you to introduce you to my colleague, Professor Wheeler. And this is Joey Tribbiani.
Sarah: Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: No, God, no, no. I'm an actor. You probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives."
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives." There's no "the."
Joey: Okay, Ross. Boy, you...

David: I'm sorry, I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already. Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Chandler: Uh, because his penis was too big. Ha. I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.