‘The One with the Butt’ Quotes
106. The One with the Butt
Aired October 27, 1994
After a talent agency signs Joey after seeing him in a play, he gets his big break in the film industry as Al Pacino's butt double. Meanwhile, Chandler enjoys a casual relationship with a woman he met at the play, until her endless list of partners leaves Chandler wanting more, and Monica's obsessive and controlling nature is put to the test when Rachel tidies the apartment for the first time.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Come on, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it and that's big.
Chandler: Oh, no it's terrific. You deserve this. After all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.
Quote from Ross
Joey: Okay. Fine. Make jokes, I don't care. This is a big break for me!
Ross: You're right, you're right. It is. So are you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Oh, look, look, look. There's Joey's picture. This is so exciting!
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen his one of his plays before. Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud, it's Freud!
Quote from Joey
Joey: [Austrian accent] Well, Eva we've done some excellent work here. And I would have to say your problem is quite clear. [singing] All you want is a dinkle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, To play with or simply let hang.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Ugh, I feel violated.
Monica: Did anybody else feel like they just wanted to peel the skin off their body so they'd have something else to do?
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: The usher gave me this.
Joey: What is it? The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. An agency left its card. They wanna sign me!
Phoebe: Based on this play? Based on this play!
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows. I did the floors. I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one with the bristles. I don't know what that's for.
Ross: Oh, yeah, nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember, I lived with you? You were a little. [mimics stabbing sound from "Psycho"]
Quote from Ross
Monica: That is so unfair!
Ross: Oh, come on. When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook!
Ross: All right, you madcap gal! Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Monica: Why not?
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead, you wait until they send a notice.
Monica: I could do that.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Why would someone do that? One might wonder.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink. It's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching closer and closer to the surface of the wood.
Monica: Stop it! Oh, my God! It's true. Who am l?
Ross: Monica, you're Mom.
Monica: Oh!
[Phoebe imitates the stabbing sound from "Psycho" again]
Quote from Joey
Joey: That was my agent. My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie!
Chandler: That's great!
Monica: What's the part?
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason why I became an actor! "I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order! "
Phoebe: Seriously, what's the part?
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! "
Ross: Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part?
[Joey mumbles]
Rachel: You're [mumbles]? What?
Joey: I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then I'm his butt.
Quote from Joey
Ross: What happened, big guy?
Chandler: Big guy?
Ross: It felt like a "big guy" moment.
Joey: I got fired! Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now, everyone's going to go to the theater expecting to see me.
Rachel: Joey, you know what? No one will be able to tell.
Joey: My mom will.
Chandler: There's something so sweet and disturbing about that.
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: You know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years and I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Monica: Wait a minute. Maybe this wasn't your shot.
Ross: Yeah, I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot. Did it feel like your shot?
Joey: Hard to tell. I was naked.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you. I do. And you've just gotta keep thinking about the day that some kid is going to run up to his friends and go: "l got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!"
Quote from Estelle
Joey: I’m here to see Estelle Leonard
Estelle: Just a moment. Let me see if she’s in. [turns around and then back] Hello
Joey: You’re Estelle Leonard?
Estelle: I know, I know you weren’t expecting some one so fantastically beautiful.