Monica: I can't believe there's no money for my wedding.
Judy Geller: We might still have some money if your father hadn't thought it was a good idea to try sell ice over the Internet.
Jack Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Judy Geller: Stupid, Jack. The word is "stupid."

Monica: Sweetie, this is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: I realize that, honey, but I'm not going to spend all the money on one party.
Monica: Honey, I love you. But if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited.

Judy Geller: We really do feel bad about this, though.
Jack Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard, but then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Monica: What about when I started dating Chandler?
Judy Geller: Well, it was Chandler. We didn't think he'd ever propose.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal.

Ross: Take it from me. As the groom, all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.

Monica: Have you thought about that?
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Chandler: Four. A boy, twin girls and another boy.
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, you know. Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.

Phoebe: What happened at dinner?
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding.
Phoebe: My God, what did you order?

Monica: We can always earn more money, okay? But we're only gonna get married once.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. The answer is no.
Monica: You're gonna have to put your foot down?
Chandler: Yes, I am.
Phoebe: Wow. Money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get onboard with.

Phoebe: Ross, how could you do that to an old man?
Ross: Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry?
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur. His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Ross: I gave him an extremely professional massage.
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Ross: Okay, so it wasn't a traditional massage. But I did give him acupressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and, I gently exfoliated him with a mop.
Phoebe: Well, he's never coming back. You just cost me $80 a week.
Ross: You know what, this is your fault. You're the one who didn't move his appointment.
Phoebe: Oh, it's my fault? You didn't have to massage him. You could've sent him away. You could have not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back.
Ross: He said he liked that.

Ross: Phoebe, oh my God. What are you doing here?
Phoebe: I need to talk to you. It's pretty urgent. It's about Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Oh, my God. Of course. Would you please excuse me for a moment? Uh, do you know each other's hometowns? Why don't you... What's going on?
Phoebe: Well, not much. But I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged, maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, you know. So could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Ross: Um, okay. Yeah, sure. But what's wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Phoebe: Nothing. Why?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it is. I'm going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movie?

Monica: I can't believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house.
Judy Geller: We're sorry, honey. But we just assumed that if you got married after you turned thirty, that you'd pay for it yourself.
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23.
Jack Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that, sweetie.