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‘The One Where Ross Moves In’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Friends: The One Where Ross Moves In

507. The One Where Ross Moves In

Aired November 12, 1998

After Ross is evicted from his new apartment, Joey and Chandler invite him to move in with them. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to play hard to get with Danny, and Phoebe's initial excitement at dating a health inspector wanes when he keeps closing down her favorite restaurants.

Quote from Monica

Rachel: How's Ross doing since all the Emily stuff?
Monica: He's not great, but he's dealing with it. Oh, wait a minute, you're not going to try-
Rachel: Oh, honey, no. Please. I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's going to be screwed up for a long time. Besides, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.

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Quote from Ross

Joey: Since you're going to be here for a while, I was thinking we could put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Ross: I hope you don't mind but I kind of already jazzed it up a little. Check it out. [Queen's "We Will Rock You" playing] We will, We will call you back.
Joey: Pretty cool. [to Chandler] You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Why?
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Chandler: How can do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's [squeaky] "family"?

Quote from Joey

Ross: I'm going to get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much lately that I feel like a nomad. [Joey giggles] What?
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ha, you saw the hat in the kitchen and knew she'd go in there hatless to get it. You could have your own health inspector detective show.
Larry: I don't know about that.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then I could be your sidekick, Voonda.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Come on, Chandler. Ross is our friend. He needs us right now. So why don't you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this?
Chandler: Bye-bye, little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: No, the quiet down thing.
Chandler: Oh, you mean this.
Joey: Uh-mmm! Look, I don't know how much more I can take. Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs? My God. What if that had been porn?
Chandler: Oh.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: I guess I could check apartment listings, though there's never anything in there.
Chandler: Not even on page seven?
Ross: You're right. Here's an affordable place. Two-bedroom, close to work. Ooh, it's available in five weeks.
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Ross: I don't know. It's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: But it's available now. Isn't it?
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Chandler: There we go.
Ross: Oh, oh, oh. Hey, guys,I was wondering if you would maybe chip in for some new air filters for the purifier? I mean, after all, we are all using it.
Chandler: Let's go quicker.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: We are bad people.
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew. You think we could we get a bathtub in our kitchen?

Quote from Chandler

Joey: It's the apartment manager. Ross put us as references. Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet. He's very reliable-
Chandler: Of course, he has a big, huge dog that barks into the night. Well, who doesn't love dogs? He's a tap dancer. Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp! There you go.
Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap-dancing pimp. Hello?

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Whose court is the ball in now?
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball.
Rachel: Come on. He's glad I came. He doesn't want me to go anywhere. Ball's flying all over the place.

Quote from Ross

Ross: So I'm a pimp, huh? It's okay. Look, I know sometimes I can be a pain in the ass. But you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something bothers you, okay. And, for my part, I'll really do everything I can to keep my annoying habits, you know, just- [quiet gesture]

Quote from Joey

Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I went down to Jono's and it was closed.
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there, but it was all violated, so we shut it down.
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all our favorite places, where are we going to eat?
Monica: I don't know. Clean places?
Joey: Mm, yum.

Quote from Joey

[Joey giggles while reading a magazine]
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribeswomen?
Joey: No, look. That's a pig. I know. But look at the knobs on it.

Quote from Phoebe

Larry: A ninety-eight. I deducted two points because you're not wearing your hat and that is a Section 5 violation.
Monica: Look, Larry, honey. I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Larry: And where is your hat?
Monica: It's in the kitchen. I'll go get it.
Larry: Ha, there's the two points.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: So I guess we won't be warming his house.
Rachel: Okay. All right, I see what he's doing. He's not asking me out because he wants me to ask him out.
Monica: And you're not going to do that.
Rachel: That's right. Because that would give him the control. So now he comes up with this "I've got a party" thing, you know, trying to get me hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Monica: So there is no party?
Rachel: Oh, no there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
Monica: I think so. So he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you?
Rachel: Exactly.

Quote from Phoebe

Larry: We are out of here.
Phoebe: Why?
Larry: Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations. I'm shutting this place down.
Phoebe: You have the power to do that?
Larry: This does.
Phoebe: Shut it down.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Oh, my God. The air purifier. Ross's air purifier. All I heard for four years through college was [humming].
Joey: Dude, you should have gone out once in a while.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Walked right into that one, didn't he?
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did.
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute. So if I said yes he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. But I said no which puts me back in the driver's seat.
Monica: So the ball is in his court?
Rachel: Ball? No, there's no ball.

Quote from Monica

Monica: It's Danny.
Rachel: Don't let him in. I'm supposed to be at a gala.
Monica: We'll be right there. Can't you say it starts later?
Rachel: What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?
Monica: The fake kind.

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