Joey: Hey, guys. I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today.
Chandler: Great. Now we can go to the Ranger game last night.
Joey: No, dude. Ross tore up the tickets.

Joey: Why are you doing this?
Ross: Because I am bored out of my mind. I've already been to the bank, the post office and the dry cleaners.
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days' worth of stuff. You gotta spread it out a little.

Joey: Haven't you ever been unemployed?
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical.
Joey: Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?

Joey: A guy in your position needs to be better at relaxing, you know. Why do you think we have comfortable chairs? Look. Here, sit down. Ready? Watch. And then.
Ross: So, what? We just sit?
Joey: Oh, no, no. We're not gonna just sit. Watch. [dials phone]
Chandler: [on the phone] Hello, Chandler Bing.
Joey: [in a sultry, female voice] Hello, Mr. Bing. I love you.
Chandler: [on the phone] All right, whoever this is, stop calling me. It's been 6 months. It's not funny.
Joey: [in a sultry, female voice] But I love you.
Chandler: Leave me alone. For the love of God, leave me alone!
Joey: And that's Wednesday.

Phoebe: [ringing bell] Hey, you guys. Guess what?
Chandler: The British are coming?
Phoebe: Oh, you and your ways.

Ross: Hey, you know what you should do. You should make something happen for yourself. You know, like write a play. Write a movie. I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on, Ross. Be realistic. If I did write something what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? Wait a second, I could star in it!
Ross: Or that.

Ross: We'll start slow. All you have to come up with tonight is the name of your main character.
Joey: Done.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: It's not.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Oh.

Joey: Hey, how do you spell "suspicious"?
Chandler: Why?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.

Chandler: It's great. You take a tennis ball, a bowl and lighter-
Ross: This is helping your career? I thought you wanted to be an actor. Not the creator of "Crazy Lawsuit Game."

Phoebe: Nobody respects the bucket. You wouldn't believe what people put in here. Does this look like a garbage can to you?
Monica: No.
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Monica: No.
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Monica: Ew!