Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The One with Ross's Thing’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Friends: The One with Ross's Thing

323. The One with Ross's Thing

Aired May 1, 1997

When Ross notices a skin abnormality, Chandler recommends the doctor who removed his third nipple. Phoebe can't decide between the two men she is dating, a muscular fireman and a sensitive teacher. Monica worries that Pete is about to break up with her when he says they "have to talk."

Quote from Ross

Dr. Rhodes: Let's see what we're dealing with. What are you doing?
Ross: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple.
Dr. Rhodes: Well, that's not a third nipple. First of all, it's on your ass.

Rate

Quote from Joey

Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? lf he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water them.
Chandler: If he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should do water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or we could go over there and pee on them.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Listen, I need a favor. I was in the shower, and as I was, cleansing myself, I felt something.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze, only better?
Ross: No.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: I mean, like, a thing on my body.
Joey: Well, what was it?
Ross: Well, I don't know. It's kind of in a place that's not- It's not visually accessible to me.
And I was hoping maybe you guys ... could help me out.
Joey: Whoa.
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Come on, you guys! It's no big deal! Well, what is it? ls it a mole?
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Ross: Ew. Is it--? What, a pimple?
Chandler: No, it's fancier than a pimple. Look, Ross, why don't you just go see a doc-
Rachel: Hey, guys, what's--?
Chandler: Well, it's definite. Two more weeks of winter.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Wow, Pheebs, two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Phoebe: I know, I know. I'm, like, playing the field. I'm juggling two guys and I'm sowing my wild oats. You know, this kind of, like, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: So do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? Okay, no, they don't know.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Oh, God. That's the nicest kitchen.
Monica: I know.
Phoebe: But it's the nicest kitchen. The refrigerator told me to have a great day.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Monica's right. We're talking about marriage here. She can't just rush into this.
Rachel: What do you know? You married a lesbian!

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: I'm telling you, if you wanna take care of that thing, go see my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I wanna remove it, Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory.

Quote from Phoebe

Vince: You made him a candlelight dinner in the park?
Phoebe: Yeah, but I can do that for you. I'm gonna do that for you.
Vince: I can't believe I went out with somebody who'd have an open flame in the middle of a wooded area!

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building?
Vince: Ninety-eight hot saves. Highest on the force.
Chandler: Well, you know, if Joey and I play with matches, we could get you up to an even 1 00.
Vince: Fire safety is not a joke, son.
Chandler: You're right. I know.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You should go to my guy. Because when I went in there with my third nipple he just lopped it right off. So I guess I'm lucky. I mean, not as lucky as people who are born with two nipples.

Quote from Joey

Ross: At least they knew what yours was. You know? Yours had a name.
Joey: Maybe they'll name yours after you. You know? They'd call it "The Ross." And then people would be, like, "Oh, he's got a Ross."
Ross: Yeah, that'd be cool.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Well, we don't need a fireman. We need, like, a good mechanic. Oh, my God. We gotta get out of here.
Jason: Wait. Why?
Phoebe: Look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I'd date one. Okay?

Page 2 

 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode