TV Quotes

Monica: I want to buy five shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. Come on, time is money, my friend. Thank you. Whoo!
Rachel: "Time is money, my friend?"
Joey: Yeah, you missed "Takes money to make money" and "Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt."

Joey: It's a woman.
Phoebe: So talk to her.
Joey: [in deep voice] Hello, Mrs. Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within 24 hours. Goodbye.
Rachel: Why the voice?
Joey: [in deep voice] Hard to say.

Rachel: How did you make $17?
Monica: Well, my financially challenged friends I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
Joey: How come those?
Monica: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada. And ZXY because I think it sounds "zexy."
Rachel: What happened to MEG?
Monica: MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. My motto is, "Get out before they go down."
Joey: That is so not my motto.

Joey: Hey, Monica, why are we watching the Business Channel?
Monica: Because I was going by it the other day and I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it. Sometimes you have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again, but when it does, it's exciting.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you really need a job.

Monica: Dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
Phoebe: Okay, right there. That's the third sign today. Right there.
Ross: On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say, "Huh?"
Phoebe: No, because you just said "dad." And everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet, which is my father's last name. And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the "s" at the end. And there was a rotisserie with a spinning chicken.
Monica: His lndian name?
Phoebe: No. Because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So coincidences? I don't think so.

Rachel: Who wants the last hamburger?
Phoebe: Okay, that's it. Now I have to go see him.
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: Hamburger? McDonald's? Old McDonald had a farm. My dad is a pharmacist.
Chandler: And E-I-E-I-O is what your mom said when your dad left her.
Phoebe: Yes!
Chandler: Really?
Phoebe: No.

Chandler: Man, I am so beat. You wanna forget racquetball and just hang out?
Ross: Yeah, all right.
Carl: Hey, you're in our seats.
Ross: Oh. Sorry, we didn't know.
Arthur: Hey, we were sitting there.
Chandler: Okay. There is one more way to say it. Who knows it?
Arthur: Was that supposed to be funny?
Chandler: No, actually, I was just going for colorful.

Rachel: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Monica: It bit. It was a '50s theme restaurant. I'd have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean, I was a sous chef at Cafe des Artistes. How can I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne-and-Curly Fries?

Rachel: Well don't do it.
Monica: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
Joey: Monica, relax. Go get a beer.
Monica: I don't want a beer.
Joey: Who said it was for you?

[Chandler and Ross arrive at the apartment after being bullied]
Chandler and Ross: [sullenly] Hi.