Previous Episode Next Episode 
The One with the Bullies

‘The One with the Bullies’

Season 2, Episode 21 - Aired April 25, 1996

Chandler and Ross are bullied by two guys at the coffeehouse. Meanwhile, Monica starts investing in the stock market, and Phoebe decides to visit her birth father.

Quote from Joey

Monica: I want to buy five shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. Come on, time is money, my friend. Thank you. Whoo!
Rachel: "Time is money, my friend?"
Joey: Yeah, you missed "Takes money to make money" and "Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt."

Rate

Quote from Joey

Joey: It's a woman.
Phoebe: So talk to her.
Joey: [in deep voice] Hello, Mrs. Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within 24 hours. Goodbye.
Rachel: Why the voice?
Joey: [in deep voice] Hard to say.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: How did you make $17?
Monica: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
Joey: How come those?
Monica: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada. And ZXY because I think it sounds "zexy."
Rachel: What happened to MEG?
Monica: MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. My motto is, "Get out before they go down."
Joey: That is so not my motto.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Well don't do it.
Monica: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
Joey: Monica, relax. Go get a beer.
Monica: I don't want a beer.
Joey: Who said it was for you?

Quote from Monica

Joey: Hey, Monica, why are we watching the Business Channel?
Monica: Because I was going by it the other day and I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it. Sometimes you have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again, but when it does, it's exciting.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you really need a job.

Quote from Monica

Rachel: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Monica: It bit. It was a '50s theme restaurant. I'd have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean, I was a sous chef at Cafe des Artistes. How can I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne-and-Curly Fries?

Quote from Ross

[Chandler and Ross arrive at the apartment after being bullied]
Chandler and Ross: [sullenly] Hi.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Hey, I went up.
Rachel: What?
Monica: My stock, MEG, it went up two points. Do you realize that if I'd invested my $127 in myself yesterday that l'd, like, have a lot more than that today. You know what? I'm going to do it.
Joey: Do what?
Monica: Put all my money in me.
Rachel: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know a thing about the stock market.
Monica: What's to know? Buy, sell. High, low. Bears, bulls.

Quote from Monica

Monica: [on the phone] Yes, Manhattan. Telephone number for the stock .. selling store.

Quote from Chandler

Carl: Isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Arthur: And look where they're sitting.
Ross: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
Carl: Maybe we didn't make it clear enough. This couch belongs to us.
Chandler: All right, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then we'll call the couch and we'll see who it comes to.
Carl: You know, I keep wondering why you two are still sitting here.
Ross: All right, that's it. I have had enough of this. All right. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Gunther: Fellas, these guys were here first.
Carl: Oh, sorry, didn't realize.
Gunther: There you go.
Ross: Thank you, Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
Arthur: He told on us?
Carl: You told on us?
Ross: Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a choice.
Chandler: Don't play with his thing.
Ross: I know.
Carl: All right. Let's take this outside.
Ross: "Let's take this outside?" Who talks like that?
Carl: The guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that.
Chandler: You had to ask.
Ross: Yeah. Okay, okay, look. See the thing is, we're not gonna fight you guys.
Arthur: Well, then, here's the deal. You won't have to, so long as you never ever show your faces in this coffeehouse ever again.
Chandler: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.

Page 2