‘The One Where Ross Dates a Student’ Quotes
618. The One Where Ross Dates a Student
Aired March 9, 2000
Ross flirts with danger when he starts dating a student. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Rachel are forced to move in with their friends when a fire ruins their apartment.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Who wrote it?
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Joey: Hey, do you still have their exams?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Because you could just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and, boom, there's your admirer.
Chandler: A hot girl's at stake, and all of a sudden he's Rain Man.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Hey. I just got my teacher evaluations. Check out what this one student wrote. "I loved Dr. Geller's class. Mind-blowing lectures. Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the Paleontology Department."
Chandler: Ah, "Hotties of Paleontology." There's a big-selling calendar, eh?
Quote from Joey
Joey: Now, listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday, okay, so I gotta get in there by Thursday. Just remember Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Chandler: Yeah, so Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, just think of it like this: The third day. All right, Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when, huh, what day? Thursday! The third day, okay?
Chandler: Thank you.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I'm gonna check my messages.
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Monica: Sure, nature called. She wants to see who else did.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: [on the phone] Hello? Rachel. [to the gang] You guys, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops.
Monica: You're on the phone.
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Phoebe: It's bad, it's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ax, which I do not remember buying.
Quote from Rachel
Fireman: So you ladies won't be able to live here for a while. You have a place to stay?
Rachel: Oh! Wow! Okay, look, pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now. But if you give me your number, I will call you some other time.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire, Mr. Fireman?
Fireman: Well, do either of you smoke?
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Now, this is last-minute, so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, who cares?
Rachel: Oh, my God! It sure didn't look this way when I lived here.
Monica: I know!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
Rachel: I did.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Rachel: Monica was so sweet. She left a little mint on my pillow.
Phoebe: Know what Joey left on my pillow? Gum.
Quote from Joey
Monica: It's the fire inspector.
Phoebe: Hello? Yeah, this is Phoebe. Really?
[across the hall:]
Joey: [on the phone, nasally voice] Yeah, so it turns out that it wasn't the hair-straightener
that started the fire. No, no. It was the candles. Yeah. It's very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is ... [Phoebe enters] ... okay, well I have to go now.
Quote from Monica
Monica: So, it's okay to date a student?
Ross: Well, not really. I mean, technically, it's not against the rules. But it is frowned upon, especially by that professor we ran into last night: "Judgy Von Holier-than-thou."
Monica: Well, Ross. You just be careful, okay? You don't want to get a reputation as "Professor McNails-his-students."
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler, Monica's looking for you.
Chandler: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. She said something about crummies.
Chandler: No, no, no. I was so careful.