Ross: Hi. I'm an honorary Brown Bird. [blows whistle]
Woman: What does that mean?
Ross: Well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to the sleepovers.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know. I feel horrible, okay?
Chandler: It says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around 10-ish?

Chandler: Oh, I don't know.
Rachel: What?
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?

Ross: Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
Sarah: Well, the girl who won last year sold 475. So far, I've sold 75.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds doable. How much are the boxes? [gets wallet out]
Sarah: Five dollars a box.
Ross: [closes wallet] And what is second prize?

Ross: Mon?
Monica: I'll take a box of the Mint Treasures. One, and that's it. I started to gain weight after I joined the Brown Birds. Remember? Dad bought every one of my boxes and I ate them all.
Ross: No, Mon. Dad had to buy every one of your boxes because you ate them all.

Chandler: So how many you sold so far?
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes.
Chandler: Oh, my God. How did you do that?
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium. Without even trying, I sold 50 boxes. That's when it occurred to me. The key to my success: the munchies. So I started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me ... [stoned voice] "Cookie Dude".

Ross: Who did these resumes for you?
Chandler: Me. On my computer. Yeah. Well, "Waitress at a Coffeehouse" and "Cheer Squad Co-Captain" only took up so much room.

Troop Leader: And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller. Eight hundred and seventy-two. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Ross: That is because my doctor says that I have a very serious ... nougat ... deficiency.

Joey: Mon, you want me to decorate the window? Give it kind of a Christmas looky?
Monica: Christmas cookie?

Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Gunther: Remember when you first came here and you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Rachel: Sure. Oh, do you need me to train somebody new?
Gunther: [laughs] Good one. Actually, Terry wants you to take the training again. Whenever.
Rachel: [scoffing] Do you believe that?
Chandler: [scoffing] Yeah.