Chandler: Would you put that back on. Monica is going to be here any minute.
Joey: But it hurts my Joey's apple.
Chandler: Okay, for the last time, it's not named after each individual man.

Chandler: Well, here we are. Just a bunch of 30-year-olds.
Ross: Wow. Do you realize in 10 years we're gonna be 40?
Joey: Why, God? Why are you doing this to us?

Rachel: Oh, come on, you guys, is it just me? Am I overreacting?
Chandler: No, Rach, it's not just you. My 30th birthday certainly wasn't that much fun.
[flashback:]
Joey: And now Chandler! We're all getting so old. Why are you doing this to us?

Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up and move it. All we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide.
Rachel: Ross, I really don't think this-
Ross: Lift and slide.

Tag: This one's from me. It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.
Rachel: A scooter.
Ross: Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.

Tag: This is just because you're turning 30.
Rachel: Yeah, it is. But you're just a kid. I mean, you're 25.
Tag: Twenty-four, actually.
Rachel: Oh, God. You know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well, actually, if I'm wishing for stuff, I wish I was six years younger.

Joey: Come on, Rach, look turning 30 is not that big a deal.
Ross: Oh, really? Is that how you felt when you turned 30?
[flashback:]
Joey: Why, God, why? We had a deal. Let the others grow old, not me!

Chandler: Will you just go help her get changed?
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.

Judy Geller: You've done a wonderful job with this party, Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe you would have a thirty-year-old daughter. And you, I can't believe you would have a tux that's 30 years old.
Jack Geller: It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.

Chandler: All right, read the card. Read the card.
Rachel: "Happy birthday, Grandma. It's better to be over the hill than buried under it. All our love, Monica and Chandler." That's funny.
Chandler: No, no. That was a joke.
Rachel: No, I know, I get it. It's funny.
Chandler: No, because you're not a grandmother-
Rachel: I know, because to be a grandmother, you have to be married and have children and
I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny.
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card.