TV Quotes

Monica: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
Rachel: It's LaPooh!
Phoebe: I know, it's LaPooh right now but it'll get better.

Ross: Look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change. So I should be the one to, you know, step back.
Rachel: No, Ross.
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. There are plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving, and just see their college roommates at reunions, and just see Joey at Burger King.

Joey: Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were stuck in here all night with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it was going to happen again. So I hid this in here.
Monica: Candy bars, crossword puzzles-
Phoebe: Ooh, "Mad Libs"! Mine!
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: Hey, you don't know how long we're going to be in here. We may have to re-populate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Joey: What are you guys woofing about?
Monica: Chandler stole a 20 from my purse.
Joey: No! You know what? Now that I think about it I constantly find myself without 20s, and you always have lots.

Rachel: You told me the story. He and Monica dated. When they broke up, they couldn't even be in the same room together. And you all promised you'd stay his friend. And what happened? He got phased out.
Monica: You're not going to be phased out.
Rachel: Of course, I am. It's not going to happen to Ross. He's your brother, your college roommate. Oh, you know, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Phoebe: Uh!
Rachel: Honey, come on. You live far away, you're not related. You'd lift right out.

Phoebe: Oh, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
Monica: Yeah, saw him waiting for an elevator. Hey, Rach, can I use your eyelash curler? I think lost mine.
Joey: [gasps] Oh! Oh! Oh!
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Ooh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
[in Monica's bedroom]
Chandler: Yes. Yes.
Joey: You? And you?
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone. No one knows.
Joey: But how? When?
Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: In London!

Monica: Can I talk to you over here for just a second? Chandler! Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not going to let them. Now, we're not a couple of suckers.
Chandler: I hear you, Mugsy.

Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Chandler: Yes, that was mine.
Joey: Because I figured you hooked up with some girl and she left it there.
Chandler: Yes, that would have made more sense.

Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Chandler: Uh, nine.
Joey: But it's dark out.
Monica: Well, that's because you always sleep till noon, silly. This is what nine looks like.
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise.

Monica: I'm really getting tired of always sneaking around.
Chandler: I know. Me too. Hey, you know what, what if we went away for the entire weekend? We'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Monica: All weekend? That's a whole lot of naked.
Chandler: Yeah, I could say I have a conference and you could say you have a chef thing.
Monica: Oh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair they have in Jersey.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo, okay. You know you're not, though.