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‘The One with the Late Thanksgiving’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Late Thanksgiving

1008. The One with the Late Thanksgiving

Aired November 20, 2003

When Monica chooses not to host an elaborate Thanksgiving dinner this year, her friends beg her to change her mind. After Monica relents and prepares a huge feast, her friends show up late.

Quote from Joey

Monica: We need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year.
Joey: What?
Ross: Are you kidding?
Chandler: Well, it's just with work and the stress of adoption we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Ross: That doesn't sound like you. That's Monica talking.
Chandler: No, no. We made this decision together.
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth.
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths.

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Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'm telling you, it's gonna happen. Next year, it's gonna be you, me and little Hemingway Bing. What? He's my favorite author.
Monica: Name one of his books.
Chandler: [scoffs] ... The Firm?

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, guess what Joey has.
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Chandler: Oh, my God.
Ross: Yeah, they're great seats too. Guess where they are.
Joey: Center ice.
Ross: Did I do something to you?

Quote from Joey

Chandler: We'll never make it back.
Joey: So we'll leave before it's over.
Chandler: But it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus, Joey could get lost and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Joey: Dude, two times that happened!

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Let me see this. "Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division"?
Rachel: That's me.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: You entered Emma in a beauty pageant?
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I can't believe this. She's our daughter. That you would treat her like some kind of show dog is inexcusable.
Rachel: She won a thousand dollars.
Ross: So this is an annual thing?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Oh, they are in for a world of pain.
Chandler: Ross's shirt is torn.
Monica: They're late and they're sloppy.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: What happened to your shirt?
Ross: I got mugged and they stole my pocket.

Quote from Joey

Ross: "We know you're out there."
[Rachel gasps]
Joey: Who do you think it's from?

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Why don't we play rock, paper, scissors, and whoever loses, goes in first.
Joey: All right, I'm in.
Rachel: Ready.
Joey: Ha, ha! I win.
Ross: What is that?
Joey: That's fire. It beats everything.
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon?
Joey: Well played, Phoebe Buffay. Well played.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: It's locked.
Ross: What? Oh, sure, now they lock it. But when they're having sex on the couch, it's like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy!"

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: All right, you guys, we're so sorry we're late. Please let us in so we can have dinner together.
Monica: No, everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the stuffing's all soggy.
Chandler: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that's- What happens to cranberry sauce?
Monica: Nothing, it's fine.
Chandler: Oh, thank God.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Come on, you guys, we're sorry. Our subway broke down.
Chandler: That's a lie! You went to the game. I can see Joey's hand.
Ross: For the love of God, take it off!

Quote from Joey

Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
Joey: Water balloon!

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: I just remembered, we do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Monica: You touch that, and you will be sorry.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Oh, my God, it's Brussels sprouts!
Ross: That's worse than no food.
Chandler: Ha, ha. All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts.
Monica: Stinky?
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: Okay, you two go get the dessert, and I'll let you in.
Rachel: Dessert?
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Phoebe: Pies. Oh, we thought you said "prize." Here.
Monica: "Grand Supreme Little Darling"?
Rachel: Congratulations!

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Come on, you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Yeah, I'll cook.
Ross: Yeah, let's go out.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: I'm stuck.
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Joey: No, seriously. I'm really wedged in here.
Phoebe: I'll pull you through.
Joey: Okay. [screaming] Stop, stop, I'm worried about damaging my head.
Chandler: It's a little late for that.

Quote from Joey

Monica: I can't believe they called. I mean, we're actually getting a baby.
Joey: I know how you feel.
Rachel: Really?
Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia May Emory. The waiting, the wondering. Then one day, I get that call from Toys"R"Us. She was in stock.
Chandler: That is the exact same thing.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Rachel and Phoebe are already there, so they probably started without us. We could just slip in, and no one needs to know where we were.
Ross: You may want to lose the foam finger.
Joey: Oh, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand.


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