‘The One After Rachel and Joey Kiss’
Season 10, Episode 1 - Aired September 25, 2003
Rachel and Joey vow to talk to Ross before their relationship goes any further. But when Ross goes first and tells Joey that he kissed Charlie, Joey struggles to find the right time to break his news to Ross. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds out that Mike needs to break up with a woman he has been dating for the past few months, and Monica has her hair done in cornrows.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Wait a minute. Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel. Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones leaving with the person we came with.
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.
Quote from Phoebe
Mike: One more thing. There might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Phoebe: Her name's Precious? Is she a pure breed, or did you pick her up at the pound?
Mike: I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Phoebe: Okay. And if she gets upset just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snap.
Quote from Phoebe
Precious: Wait. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on. I mean are you guys getting back together or something?
Phoebe: All right, Susie. Can I call you Susie?
Precious: My name is Precious.
Phoebe: I can't say that. Uh, Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Oh, no!
Rachel: What is it?
Ross: Oh, major shampoo explosion!
Rachel: Look, Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything! Why? Why me?
Rachel: Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?
Ross: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Well, yeah. Look, it's about me and-
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh, my God Oh, and this is moisturizer! It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Rachel: Wow. Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Ross: You think?
Quote from Monica
Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No one is manning that wall!
Monica: I'm on it.
Chandler: Anything?
Monica: I think I hear curtains closing.
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Monica: Bedsprings! Unmistakable!
Chandler: You do realize that's your brother.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch!
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how about you do a little something for me?
Monica: Sure. What did you have in mind?
Chandler: I think you know.
Monica: Really? I don't- I don't really feel like it.
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Monica: Okay. I just don't get why you like it so much.
Chandler: She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!
Quote from Phoebe
Precious: I just can't believe this. Why?
Phoebe: Well, I don't-
Precious: Why would he do this? What's wrong with me?
Phoebe: There's nothing wrong with you.
Precious: What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Phoebe: Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God! [Precious cries] Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Quote from Ross
Charlie: Dr. Geller!
Ross: God, you're amazing. I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Hey, before, you said that nothing could happen between us. What changed?
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross. And then I saw him kissing Charlie.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Eh, who am I to talk?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Chandler: Okay, Buckwheat.