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‘The One After Rachel and Joey Kiss’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Friends: The One After Rachel and Joey Kiss

1001. The One After Rachel and Joey Kiss

Aired September 25, 2003

Rachel and Joey vow to talk to Ross before their relationship goes any further. But when Ross goes first and tells Joey that he kissed Charlie, Joey struggles to find the right time to break his news to Ross. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds out that Mike needs to break up with a woman he has been dating for the past few months, and Monica has her hair done in cornrows.

Quote from Phoebe

Mike: One more thing. There might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Phoebe: Her name's Precious? Is she a pure breed, or did you pick her up at the pound?
Mike: I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Phoebe: Okay. And if she gets upset just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snap.

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Quote from Chandler

Monica: Wait a minute. Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel. Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones leaving with the person we came with.
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.

Quote from Phoebe

Precious: Wait. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on. I mean are you guys getting back together or something?
Phoebe: All right, Susie. Can I call you Susie?
Precious: My name is Precious.
Phoebe: I can't say that. Uh, Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Oh, no!
Rachel: What is it?
Ross: Oh, major shampoo explosion!
Rachel: Look, Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything! Why? Why me?
Rachel: Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?
Ross: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Well, yeah. Look, it's about me and-
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh, my God Oh, and this is moisturizer! It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Rachel: Wow. Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Ross: You think?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No one is manning that wall!
Monica: I'm on it.
Chandler: Anything?
Monica: I think I hear curtains closing.
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Monica: Bedsprings! Unmistakable!
Chandler: You do realize that's your brother.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how about you do a little something for me?
Monica: Sure. What did you have in mind?
Chandler: I think you know.
Monica: Really? I don't- I don't really feel like it.
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Monica: Okay. I just don't get why you like it so much.
Chandler: She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!

Quote from Ross

Charlie: Dr. Geller!
Ross: God, you're amazing. I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.

Quote from Monica

Phoebe: Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Get over here!
Chandler: Whoa.
Monica: Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are! [after Chandler stuffs Monica's hair in her mouth] Thank you.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hey, before, you said that nothing could happen between us. What changed?
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross. And then I saw him kissing Charlie.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Eh, who am I to talk?

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Chandler: Okay, Buckwheat.

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