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‘The One with the Proposal (Part 2)’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Proposal (Part 2)

625. The One with the Proposal (Part 2)

Aired May 18, 2000

After Chandler's plan to propose to Monica at a restaurant was foiled, he pretends not to be interested in marriage to throw Monica off the scent. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Rachel discuss "back-up plans" if they're not married by the time they're forty.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: Can we come in yet? We're dying out here.
Monica: Come in! Come in! We're engaged!
Rachel: Oh, this is the least jealous I've ever been.
Phoebe: Oh, no, wait. This is wrong. Ross isn't here.
Rachel: Oh, hell, he's done it three times. He knows what it's about.

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Quote from Monica

Monica: Chandler, in all my life, I never thought I would be so lucky, as to fall in love with my best- My best- There's a reason why girls don't do this!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'll do it. I thought- [sobs] Wait, I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Yeah, well, there's some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: There are?
Monica: Yeah. Richard.
Joey: Richard said he wants to marry you? And Chandler's telling you how much he hates marriage?
Monica: That's right.
Joey: Chandler loves marriage.
Monica: You just told me he hates marriage. That he's a complex fellow who's unlikely to take a wife. That he's against marriage and always will be.
Joey: You got that from what I said?

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay, I know how to settle this. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to write "Joey" on one napkin. And I'm going to write "Ross" on the other napkin. And we are going to pick one and that person is going to be our backup. Okay? Here we go.
Joey: That sounds fair.
Ross: Okay, fine.
Phoebe: Good.
Rachel: Switching them up. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Pick one.
Phoebe: Left. Thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Phoebe: Ross.
Rachel: Joey. Hmm. We should just switch.
Phoebe: Yeah, absolutely.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I mean, this isn't fair. You had your chance with her, you had your chance and you blew it. And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other. And this has all just been one stupid mistake. I was gonna propose tonight.
Richard: You were going to propose?
Chandler: Yeah, I even got a ring. Did you get a ring?
Richard: No, I don't have a ring. You go get her, Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me.
Chandler: You know, Richard, you are a good guy.
Richard: I know. I hate that.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!

Quote from Chandler

Richard: Well, apparently I'm willing to offer her things that you are not.
Chandler: I am willing to offer her those things. This was just a plan. To throw her off course, so when I offered all these things she'd be surprised.
Richard: Well, if it helps, it worked very well.
Chandler: It was working till you showed up, you big tree.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over. You made my girlfriend think!

Quote from Monica

Richard: That's fine. I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again. But only if you tell me Chandler's willing to give you everything I am.
Monica: Well, he is. I mean, yeah, marriage is all he talks about. My goodness. In fact, I'm the one making him wait.
Richard: You are?
Monica: Yeah.
Richard: Why?
Monica: Why? Because of the government.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I'm so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh, no. God, definitely not jealous.
Rachel: I mean, I'm probably 98% happy and maybe 2% jealous. And I mean, what's 2%? That's nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. I'm like 90-1 0.
Rachel: Yeah. Me too.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: Hey, have you guys seen Chandler?
Rachel: No. But you know who did stop in here looking for you? Tenille.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: So that marriage stuff you were saying yesterday? You don't really believe that, do you?
Chandler: Sure, I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean, look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs. Okay. Pigs don't mate for life. I mean, a pig can have like 1 00 sexual partners in a lifetime. And that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: We're gonna find love.
Phoebe: Definitely.
Rachel: Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. That's what makes it so easy to be eighty percent happy for Monica and Chandler. Would be nice to have a little guarantee, though.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well, you know, some people make deals with a friend. Like if neither of them are married by 40, they marry each other.
Phoebe: You mean a backup?
Rachel: Yeah, exactly.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. I've got that.
Rachel: You do? Who?
Phoebe: Joey.
Rachel: Joey?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: Are you serious?
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him in years ago.
Rachel: Wait. So if neither of you are married by the time you're forty, you're going marry Joey?
Phoebe: Yep. We shook on it. But believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Phoebe: I think his exact words were [click click purr].
Rachel: Charming.
Phoebe: Well, he's just a backup.

Quote from Joey

Joey: What's the matter? Talk to the captain.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: I'm so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, I really thought we'd be able to make it work. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
Rachel: Yeah. Love. It's a tricky business, isn't it?
Ross: I guess so.
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we're forty, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, we've already slept together, so you know there'll be no surprises there, you know what I mean. No, like, "What's that?"
Ross: Oh, you want me to be your backup.
Rachel: Exactly.
Ross: Yeah. I already have one.
Rachel: What? Who?
Ross: Phoebe.
Rachel: Phoebe? Wait a minute. But she just said Joey is her backup.
Ross: Oh, I don't think so.
Rachel: Ross, I just had a conversation with her and she said that she and Joey made a deal.
Ross: That's impossible. I mean, we have had a deal for years. We shook on it. Although, believe me, she wanted to do a lot more than that.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Where the hell have you been?
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the Professor.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've been trying to find you to tell you to stop messing with her. And maybe I would have if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!

Quote from Joey

Chandler: He's not supposed to ask her to marry him. I'm supposed to do that.
Joey: I know.
Chandler: What--? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go over there. I'm going to kick his ass. Will you help me?
Joey: Look, Chandler, I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Phoebe, you picked Joey and Ross? You can not have two backups.
Phoebe: Of course I can. It's just good sense to back up your backup. Look, I've already lost Chandler.
Rachel: What?

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: Hey, Phoebe! We're both backups?
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?
Phoebe: Look, I don't know what you are complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation.
Ross: I was not.
Joey: No, we weren't.
Phoebe: Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when we're married.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Phoebe, you can't have both of them. You have to pick one.
Joey: Pick me.
Ross: No, pick me. I don't want to end up an old maid.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Well, let's see. Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boat. This is hard.
Joey: This is crazy. Hey, look, I want to switch to Rachel.
Ross: I want to switch to Rachel too.
Phoebe: No, wait. Just wait, you guys. Don't make any rash decisions, okay. Remember my promise: If we get married, three times a week.
Rachel: Oh, my God, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I'm talking about massages. [mouths] No, I'm not.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I miss this apartment. Now, this is a grownup's apartment. I should be with a grownup, do you know what I mean?
Richard: Yeah. You're saying you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Monica: You know, let's face it. I'm not a kid anymore. I need to be with someone who wants the same things that I do. I mean, coming to my place of work and telling me you love me, I want that. Talking about pig sex over lunch, I don't want that.
Richard: I think that's fair.

Quote from Monica

Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.


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