Monica: Chandler, in all my life, I never thought I would be so lucky, as to fall in love with my best- My best- There's a reason why girls don't do this!

Joey: Can we come in yet? We're dying out here.
Monica: Come in! Come in! We're engaged!
Rachel: Oh, this is the least jealous I've ever been.
Phoebe: Oh, no, wait. This is wrong. Ross isn't here.
Rachel: Oh, hell, he's done it three times. He knows what it's about.

Monica: Yeah, well, there's some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: There are?
Monica: Yeah. Richard.
Joey: Richard said he wants to marry you? And Chandler's telling you how much he hates marriage?
Monica: That's right.
Joey: Chandler loves marriage.
Monica: You just told me he hates marriage. That he's a complex fellow who's unlikely to take a wife. That he's against marriage and always will be.
Joey: You got that from what I said?

Rachel: Okay, I know how to settle this. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to write "Joey" on one napkin. And I'm going to write "Ross" on the other napkin. And we are going to pick one and that person is going to be our backup. Okay? Here we go.
Joey: That sounds fair.
Ross: Okay, fine.
Phoebe: Good.
Rachel: Switching them up. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Pick one.
Phoebe: Left. Thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Phoebe: Ross.
Rachel: Joey. Hmm. We should just switch.
Phoebe: Yeah, absolutely.

Chandler: I'll do it. I thought- [sobs] Wait, I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.

Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!

Chandler: I mean, this isn't fair. You had your chance with her, you had your chance and you blew it. And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other. And this has all just been one stupid mistake. I was gonna propose tonight.
Richard: You were going to propose?
Chandler: Yeah, I even got a ring. Did you get a ring?
Richard: No, I don't have a ring. You go get her, Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me.
Chandler: You know, Richard, you are a good guy.
Richard: I know. I hate that.

Richard: Well, apparently I'm willing to offer her things that you are not.
Chandler: I am willing to offer her those things. This was just a plan. To throw her off course, so when I offered all these things she'd be surprised.
Richard: Well, if it helps, it worked very well.
Chandler: It was working till you showed up, you big tree.

Richard: That's fine. I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again. But only if you tell me Chandler's willing to give you everything I am.
Monica: Well, he is. I mean, yeah, marriage is all he talks about. My goodness. In fact, I'm the one making him wait.
Richard: You are?
Monica: Yeah.
Richard: Why?
Monica: Why? Because of the government.

Chandler: You know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over. You made my girlfriend think!