Monica: It's actually going to be just family.
Janice: Oh, wait. You two think of me as family? Oh, I have to ask you something now, and be honest. Do you want me to sing "Careless Whisper" or "Lady in Red"?

Monica: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You have to go.
Janice: Why?
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you.
Janice: He does?
Chandler: Say again?
Monica: That's right. That's right. And that is why you can't stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldn't come to the wedding.
Chandler: Feelings. Such strong feelings.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh, my God. I understand. I am so sorry. I'll go. Goodbye, Monica. I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, you call me when this goes in the pooper.

Nurse: I don't think the next patient is very far along.
Rachel: Okay. Well, then bring her in.
Janice: Oh, my God! [claps]

Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Janice: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

Janice: Ross, you left your scarf in- Hey, you guys. [laughs]

Janice: This is my husband, Sid. I don't think you've met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office. Thank God for adult acne. [laughs]
Sid: I still can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
Ross: Really?
Sid: What did he say?
Janice: Oh, you know what, you have to speak very loudly when you're talking to Sid because he's almost completely deaf.
Ross: Oh, there you go.
Rachel: Of course he is.

Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember, Chandler. [laughs]

Rachel: What am I sitting on? I'd hate to think what was this woman scratching when this broke off?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Janice: Oh, my God!

Janice: By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: That's okay.
Janice: Are you sure, really? Because, you know, you could make little puppets out of them and you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty!

Janice: Okay, I know what you all are thinking, but Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman. I have needs. I can't wait forever.
Rachel: Yeah, no, that's what I was thinking.