Chandler: Oh, my God!
Joey: What?
Chandler: Are you all right?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: What happened?
Joey: Oh, man, he promised he wouldn't take the chairs.
Chandler: What the hell happened. How were you locked in? Where the hell is all of our stuff?
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and he said he didn't think it was big enough to fit a grown man.
Chandler: So you got in voluntarily?
Joey: I was trying to make a sale! Oh man, if I ever run into that guy, you know what I'm going to do?
Chandler: Bend over?

Monica: Oh, my God! What happened?
Chandler: Oh, Joey was born, and then twenty-eight years later, I was robbed!

Ross: Any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Joey: There were a couple calls, but I don't think they're going to work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.

Rachel: Whoa. Look at that. Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants.
Ross: Well, actually-
Rachel: I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.
Ross: Well, why don't you give him a call?
Rachel: Are you sure you want to hear this?
Ross: I'm sure.
Rachel: Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Green. You left me a message? Yes, you did. My roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller?
Ross: Oh, that's right. He called to ask out Monica. That's got to be embarrassing.

Phoebe: I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my mother.
Rachel: The mom you met in Montauk? She was a cat?
Phoebe: No. She was a human lady. This is the spirit of my mom, Lily. The one that killed herself.
Ross: Are you sure she's in the cat or have you been taking your grandmother's glaucoma medicine again?
Phoebe: No, Dr. Skeptismo.

Monica: Look, you and I went to different high schools.
Rachel: Okay, that doesn't help because we went to the same high school.
Monica: You went to one where you were popular. You rode on Chip's motorcycle and wore his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform that they had to have specially made.
Rachel: They had to have that specially made?
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Rachel: Oh, my God. They told us that was for the mascot.

Ross: You won't suck me into this.
Rachel: Sure I will. Because you always have to be right.
Rachel: Jurassic Park could happen.

Joey: Yeah, I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me $5 I couldn't. Then he stuck a board through the handles and locked me in. It was funny till I felt like it was a coffin.

Ross: What did the insurance company say?
Chandler: They said, "You don't have insurance here, so stop calling us."

Phoebe: Mom, I hope that you know you still mean a lot to me. You're welcome to come back anytime.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, we'd really appreciate it.