Ross: There's no way around it, Pheebs. You're just going to have accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Mike: I heard that weddings are, like, a $40 billion-a-year industry.
Ross: Yeah. And I'm responsible for just, like, half of that.

Laura: Hi, I'm Laura. I'm here for your adoption interview.
Monica: Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler. Please come in.
Laura: Thank you.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Laura: Water would be fine.
Monica: We're so glad that you're here. We're really excited about getting this process started.
Chandler: Because we love kids. Love them to death. Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech. We love kids the appropriate amount ... as allowed by law.

Ross: Hey, what are you doing?
Mike: Figuring out our wedding plans.
Chandler: That's funny. We were doing the same thing.
Phoebe: It's really crazy. The hall, the dress, the food. I had no idea how expensive this was.
Chandler: Yeah, it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Phoebe: So, what did you two do about it?
Chandler: It was pretty simple, actually. I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.

Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use.
Mike: Are you serious?
Phoebe: Yeah. Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more.
Ross: I gotta say, you guys, that's an incredible gesture.
Chandler: Maybe you do that next time you get married.
Ross: No, no, no. The next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that.

Monica: Okay. So I think I'm just about done here. Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: What? No.
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation.
Monica: Okay. So there's not a magazine under the couch or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank or a filthy video in the VCR?
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and magazine. But that tape is not mine.
Monica: It isn't mine.
Joey: I guess we'll never know whose it is.

Rachel: Hey, Ross, listen. I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: That's okay. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
Rachel: Absolutely.
Ross: There was one. She's it. All the rest look like they should live under a bridge.

Rachel: So, what are you gonna do today?
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground.
Rachel: Oh, my God. What?
Ross: Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.

Rachel: Okay, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Ross: Because?
Rachel: All right, well, if you must know, I had a traumatic swing incident when I was little.
Ross: Seriously?
Rachel: Yes. I was 4 years old. And I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out, my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair. And it was uneven for weeks.
Ross: And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie.

Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy. But the swings are perfectly safe. And besides, Emma loves them. You should come, and you'll see.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, those things go, like, 40 miles an hour. And there's that moment when you're at the top when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth.
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children.

Ross: Look, you don't wanna be one of those moms who passes her irrational fears to her children, do you?
Rachel: "Irrational," huh? All right, well, I'll remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment.
Ross: Oh, yeah. That's the same. I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings.