Trending ‘Friends’ Quotes
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid-of-honor speech.
Rachel: Oh, wait a minute. We haven't even prepared-
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay. Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as- Okay, no. Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it. I met- I met Monica when we were just a couple of 6-year-olds, and became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a 6-year-old. Thank you. Thank you very much. I've known them separately and together. And to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: I brought you some housewarming gifts. Salt, so your life always has flavor. Bread, so you never go hungry. And a scented candle for the bathroom. Because, well, you know.
Quote from Rachel in The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Ross: So, what, you tell each other everything?
Rachel: Pretty much.
Ross: Did you talk about the Night of Five Times? Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times?
Rachel: Honey, yeah, that was with Carol.
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Ross: I know how you must-
Rachel: No! You don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Ross: No, but see, I want to be with you in spite of all those things.
Rachel: Oh. Well, that's mighty big of you, Ross.
Ross: You were in Western Europe, and?
Joey: I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing and there was a lake. Very secluded. There were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. But she was crying.
Monica: Okay, what's up?
Chandler: Okay. You know we always said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? And you could study French cooking, and I could write and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux.
Chandler: Okay. You know how people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Monica: What? Who says that?
Chandler: People who have never been to Paris?
Monica: Well, what's going on?
Chandler: We're moving to Tulsa.
Monica: Excuse me?
Chandler: Okay. Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. She asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there. And I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
Monica: Tulsa, Oklahoma?
Chandler: The Sooner State. Whatever that is.
Rachel: Look. Claire forgot her glasses. She's going to really be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend. Who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Monica: Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to gossip less.
Rachel: What? I don't gossip.
[Chandler and Joey laugh]
Rachel: Maybe sometimes I find out things. Or I hear something and I pass that information on. You know, kind of like a public service. It doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you cal Ted Koppel a gossip?
Monica: Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs, I would.
Rachel: Well, they were like this!
Joey: Anyway, I started on what I'm gonna say for the ceremony. You want to hear it?
Joey: Listen, this is just the first draft, so... "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." Eh? "It is a love based on giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive."
Chandler: Should we call the spitter?
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: "Je des core bleu".
Phoebe: No. Okay, maybe if we just break it down. Okay, let's just try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me.
Phoebe: Great, okay, faster.
Phoebe: Je m'apelle.
Joey: "Mi poo poo."
Joey: Well, it's good you got out, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Ross: The volcano?
Joey: And speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: Yeah. Lava spewing, hot ash. Of course, some are dormant.
Monica: Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden?
Joey: We can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The vas deferens? The Vietnam War?
Monica: Oh. Did anyone see that documentary on the Korean War?
Phoebe: Oh, God. Korea's a beautiful country.
Ross: With such a sad history.
Chandler: Could there be more Kims?
[Joey laughs at Chandler's joke, looks disappointed]
Chandler: What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might want to tone it down a little.
Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Which one?
Joey: Well, it's one of her favorites. "Riding the Storm Out: Coping With Postpartum Depression." Eeesh. "Love You Forever". Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly Books. Printed in Mexico. Ahem.
A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang, 'I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.'...
And while he rocked her, he sang: 'I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.'
Rachel: Oh, wow! That was amazing.
Ross: Thank you so much for that gift.
Chandler: I was not ready for this today.
Ross: Amazing. Amazing.
Rachel: Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Joey: What party?
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Joey: Whose birthday party?
Phoebe and Rachel: Alison's birthday party.
Joey: And how old is Alison?
Phoebe and Rachel: Thirty-two.
Rachel: Wait a minute. Why don't you guys do something?
Joey: Look how that worked out.
Chandler: I mean, this isn't fair. You had your chance with her, you had your chance and you blew it. And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other. And this has all just been one stupid mistake. I was gonna propose tonight.
Richard: You were going to propose?
Chandler: Yeah, I even got a ring. Did you get a ring?
Richard: No, I don't have a ring. You go get her, Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me.
Chandler: You know, Richard, you are a good guy.
Richard: I know. I hate that.
Chandler: You're not still upset about what that guy told you, are you?
Monica: Wouldn't you be?
Chandler: Look, it's been a really emotional time and you've had a lot to drink. You have to let that go, okay? You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms.
Rachel: Okay, in about 10 seconds, you're going to see him kiss me.
Ross: And in about 5 seconds, you're going to see why.
[on the videotape:]
Rachel: Ross, did I ever tell you about the time I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Rachel: Okay. Get ready to see some begging.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Now I'm so happy.
Rachel: What are you talking about?
Monica: You used the Europe story.
Chandler: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex.
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat.
Rachel: Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
Phoebe: I'm just helping the kids.
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Rachel: I'm so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh, no. God, definitely not jealous.
Rachel: I mean, I'm probably 98% happy and maybe 2% jealous. And I mean, what's 2%? That's nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. I'm like 90-1 0.
Rachel: Yeah. Me too.
Chandler: Okay, Janice. Hey, Janice. There's no way to tell you this. At least, there's no new way. I just don't think things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Chandler: It is?
Janice: Uh-huh. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh, no. You see, actually, it is.
Janice: No, it isn't. Because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Oh, no, I don't.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who? Valentine's, who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: I did, but-
Janice: You seek me out! Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice! You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. [kisses Chandler] See?
Chandler: Call me!