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Quote from Rachel in The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Phoebe: I brought you some housewarming gifts. Salt, so your life always has flavor. Bread, so you never go hungry. And a scented candle for the bathroom. Because, well, you know.
Ross: You were in Western Europe, and?
Joey: I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing and there was a lake. Very secluded. There were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. But she was crying.
Phoebe: Gunther, can I get a scone?
Gunther: Do you want anything?
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day! And I want her to love me back. And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never going to happen!
Gunther: We have red bagels.
Chandler: What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might want to tone it down a little.
Precious: I just can't believe this. Why?
Phoebe: Well, I don't-
Precious: Why would he do this? What's wrong with me?
Phoebe: There's nothing wrong with you.
Precious: What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Phoebe: Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God! [Precious cries] Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Chandler: You're not still upset about what that guy told you, are you?
Monica: Wouldn't you be?
Chandler: Look, it's been a really emotional time and you've had a lot to drink. You have to let that go, okay? You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms.
Restaurant Manager: All right. Let's see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Monica: A salad? Really, I could do something more complicated if you like.
Restaurant Manager: No, just the salad will be fine.
Monica: Okay, you got it.
Restaurant Manager: Now I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Monica: All right. Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
Restaurant Manager: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh, no, don't worry. I'm gonna wash it.
Restaurant Manager: Don't. I like it dirty.
Monica: That's your call.
Restaurant Manager: So, what are you going to do next?
Monica: Well, I thought that l would cut up the tomatoes.
Restaurant Manager:Are they firm?
Monica: They're all right.
Restaurant Manager: You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: No, really, they're okay.
Restaurant Manager:You gonna slice them up real nice?
Monica: I was going to do them julienne.
Restaurant Manager: [moans]
Monica: I'm out of here.
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Monica: Yeah, I think that's great.
Ross: Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
Monica: Oh. How are they?
Ross: Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
Joey: All right, Ross you're in the lead. Would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ross: The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. I'll take another question.
Joey: Okay, this is going to be tough. Hold your breath.
Ross: It's okay. I'm ready.
Joey: No, dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question.
Chandler: This is ridiculous. He's not gonna-
[Ross holds his breath]
Joey: Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska- Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris- Seriously, look at this, Chandler. How do you say that?
Chandler: Let me see that.
Joey: This one right here.
Ross: Fear of Triscuits.
Joey: No. No. Fear of the number 13.
Chandler: Fear of Triscuits?
Ross: It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
Ross: How sad are we?
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Chandler: You know what? We're not sad. We're not sad. We're just not 21 anymore. You know? I'm 29 years old, damn it! I want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch TV and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Rachel: Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the $100? The party will cost you way more than that.
Ross: That doesn't matter. It's my principles. We're talking about my principles!
Rachel: Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Ross: Oh, they'll like me once they come to my awesome par-tay. Okay, I gotta run. I gotta get some nametags.
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat.
Rachel: Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
Phoebe: I'm just helping the kids.
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Ross: Thanks guys.
Chandler: No problem. Just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Rachel: Okay, in about 10 seconds, you're going to see him kiss me.
Ross: And in about 5 seconds, you're going to see why.
[on the videotape:]
Rachel: Ross, did I ever tell you about the time I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Rachel: Okay. Get ready to see some begging.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Now I'm so happy.
Rachel: What are you talking about?
Monica: You used the Europe story.
Chandler: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex.
Recorded Female Voice: Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke.
Joey: Joey's your best friend. You want to make him a cheese sandwich every day. And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Monica: Wait, are you sure?
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said. Then I went over to Beefsteak Chewley's.
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlie's?
Chandler: Yes! You and l have always been like...
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid-of-honor speech.
Rachel: Oh, wait a minute. We haven't even prepared-
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay. Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as- Okay, no. Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it. I met- I met Monica when we were just a couple of 6-year-olds, and became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a 6-year-old. Thank you. Thank you very much. I've known them separately and together. And to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Chandler: "Elizabeth Hornswoggle"?
Ross: That's right. Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Chandler: Horn - Swoggle.
Joey: You okay, Chandler? Something funny about that name?
Chandler: No. No, I just think I've heard it somewhere before.
Joey: Oh, really? Where? Somewhere funny, I'll bet.
Ross: Hey, Pheebs. Oh, guess what. I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? Oh, this must be killing you!
Monica: But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say.
Rachel: Are you okay? You're not blinking.
Monica: I'm fine. I was thinking about how it's an end of an era.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But, you know, I gotta say, I don't think six years counts as an era.
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. It was significant for me. Maybe it wasn't significant to you.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Why aren't you more upset?