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Quote from Rachel in The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Joey: Well, how you doing?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Joey: That bad, huh? Look, Rachel, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Phoebe: I brought you some housewarming gifts. Salt, so your life always has flavor. Bread, so you never go hungry. And a scented candle for the bathroom. Because, well, you know.
Phoebe: Gunther, can I get a scone?
Gunther: Do you want anything?
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day! And I want her to love me back. And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never going to happen!
Gunther: We have red bagels.
Restaurant Manager: All right. Let's see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Monica: A salad? Really, I could do something more complicated if you like.
Restaurant Manager: No, just the salad will be fine.
Monica: Okay, you got it.
Restaurant Manager: Now I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Monica: All right. Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
Restaurant Manager: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh, no, don't worry. I'm gonna wash it.
Restaurant Manager: Don't. I like it dirty.
Monica: That's your call.
Restaurant Manager: So, what are you going to do next?
Monica: Well, I thought that l would cut up the tomatoes.
Restaurant Manager:Are they firm?
Monica: They're all right.
Restaurant Manager: You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: No, really, they're okay.
Restaurant Manager:You gonna slice them up real nice?
Monica: I was going to do them julienne.
Restaurant Manager: [moans]
Monica: I'm out of here.
Joey: All right, Ross you're in the lead. Would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ross: The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. I'll take another question.
Joey: Okay, this is going to be tough. Hold your breath.
Ross: It's okay. I'm ready.
Joey: No, dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question.
Chandler: This is ridiculous. He's not gonna-
[Ross holds his breath]
Joey: Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska- Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris- Seriously, look at this, Chandler. How do you say that?
Chandler: Let me see that.
Joey: This one right here.
Ross: Fear of Triscuits.
Joey: No. No. Fear of the number 13.
Chandler: Fear of Triscuits?
Ross: It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
Phoebe: What? You guys, what is going on? Do you not like Robert? Why are you laughing?
Ross: Calm down. No reason to get testy.
Chandler: What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might want to tone it down a little.
Rachel: Oh, look who it is. My husband. The apple of my eye.
Phoebe: Hey, why isn't it "Spiderman"? Like Goldman, Silverman?
Chandler: Because it's not his last name.
Phoebe: It isn't?
Chandler: It's not, like, Phil Spiderman. He's a Spider-Man: You know, like, Goldman is a last name. But there's no Gold-Man.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be a Gold-Man!
Monica: But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say.
Rachel: Are you okay? You're not blinking.
Monica: I'm fine. I was thinking about how it's an end of an era.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But, you know, I gotta say, I don't think six years counts as an era.
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. It was significant for me. Maybe it wasn't significant to you.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Why aren't you more upset?
Phoebe: Well, I still think that is a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her, okay? And if you need to, then just get an extra plate of fries for the table.
Joey: I like that. A sharing buffer. Yeah. Yeah, I'll order some extra fries. Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some Buffalo wings. Maybe- Maybe an individual pizza, huh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about?
Phoebe: Thanks for the great movie tip.
Monica: Did you like it?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I don't know if I was happier when George Bailey destroyed the business or Donna Reed cried or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Monica: All right, I'll give you the ear thing, but didn't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
Phoebe: I didn't watch the ending. I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse. It should've been called: "It's a Sucky Life, And Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It Does!"
Frank Buffay, Jr.: So are you, like, my big sister? This is huge. You can buy me beer.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool, though? If you had a friend named Pete, I could say "Oh, yeah, I know Pete. He's friends with my brother."
Frank Buffay, Jr.: I got a friend named Mark.
Phoebe: That'll work too.
Chandler: You're not still upset about what that guy told you, are you?
Monica: Wouldn't you be?
Chandler: Look, it's been a really emotional time and you've had a lot to drink. You have to let that go, okay? You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms.
Phoebe: Stop it.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Phoebe: It's not kicking me. It's kicking one of the other babies. Oh. Don't make me come in there!
Joey: Are you still here?
Chandler: Yes. And I have to say I am not just hurt, I'm insulted. When I tell somebody I did something-
Joey: Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right? Then you lied about lying, okay? Then you lied about lying about lying, okay? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying- Stop lying.
Rachel: This explains so much. Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps.
Phoebe: Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Well, I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, that's what you need ... a good pill.
Kathy: Thank you for the book.
Chandler: The book?
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit? I kind of have a feeling you had something to do with it.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Kathy: Well, when Joey gave it to me he said: "This is 'cause I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese."