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‘The One with the Blind Dates’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Friends: The One with the Blind Dates

914. The One with the Blind Dates

Aired February 6, 2003

Joey and Phoebe conspire to get Ross and Rachel back together by setting them up on terrible dates. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler babysit Emma.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Hey, you better hope we're pregnant because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.

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Quote from Joey

Joey: Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Okay.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Joey: Yeah. She's really into history and foreign movies. Oh, and she loves puzzles. Come on, who loves puzzles?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. You're ruining the plan. Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.
Joey: Oh, my God, you're right. Yeah. She even reads for pleasure.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Joey: I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Phoebe: Joey?
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hello?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.
Phoebe: Hey, Rach.
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Rachel: I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.
Phoebe: All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
Rachel: Yeah. Four times.
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Rachel: I just had a rough night.
Ross: Oh. Crab cake? Well, what happened?
Rachel: Well, this is kind of weird to talk to you about this, but-
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: I did too. But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Rachel: Oh, no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Morning, roomie.
Rachel: Hey. You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Joey: Well, actually it-
Ross: No, it's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!

Quote from Joey

Joey: Why are they doing this?
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other. It's crazy.
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is there, like, two bites in here?

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Joey: Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey. Tell you what, I may not have kids. Someone's got to carry on the family name.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I mean, I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.

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