‘The One with the Ultimate Fighting Competition’
Season 3, Episode 24 - Aired May 8, 1997
Monica tries to support Pete as he enters the Ultimate Fighting Competition, but she can't bear to see him pummeled. Meanwhile, Chandler is upset that his boss keeps slapping him on the butt, and Rachel is angry with Phoebe for setting Ross up on a date.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you, Mon? Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?
Phoebe: Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him.
Phoebe: Then definitely don't take his name.
Quote from Joey
Monica: It's sort of like wrestling. But without the costumes.
Joey: And it's not fake. It's totally brutal.
Chandler: Yeah, it's two guys in the ring and the rules are, "There are no rules!"
Monica: You can, like, bite and pull people's hair and stuff?
Ross: Anything goes except eye-gouging and fish-hooking.
Monica: What's fish-hooking?
Ross: What's fish-hook- [Joey fish-hooks Ross] Thanks, man. That would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean. I just gave the duck a bath.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Can we please go eat?
Ross: Yeah, what are we getting?
Monica: Anything but stew.
Quote from Joey
Ross: So, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. Just don't turn your back to him.
Joey: Or you could teach him a lesson, you know? What you could do is rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right? Then, when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell.
Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Quote from Monica
Monica: Are we still on for tonight? Good. Because maybe we could have a little workout of our own.
Hoshi: No boom-boom before big fight!
Quote from Ross
Monica: Pete? That guy's pretty huge.
Pete: Don't worry. Hoshi taught me to use my opponent's strength and weight against him.
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Quote from Ross
Ross: This is ironic. Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids. And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Do you think there's a town in Missouri or someplace called Sample? And as you're driving into the town, there's a sign and it says: "You're in Sample."
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Oh, well this is just perfect!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry. I thought you said it was okay.
Rachel: Yeah, I said it was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, you know, that girl has got hair all over her head.
Phoebe: Well maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality.
Rachel: Why? Does she have a bad personality?
Phoebe: Oh, no, Bonnie's the best.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Look. It's Ross and that girl.
Phoebe: No, look at that. It's a line of ants. They're working as a team.