TV Quotes

Chandler: A little announcement. I have decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther.
Gunther: What's my last name?
Chandler: Central Perk?

Ross: Any ideas for the bachelor party?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. Before you start handing out rings and planning bachelor parties, don't you have to decide who your best man is going to be?
Chandler: Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward.
Ross: I sort already asked Chandler.
Joey: What? He got to do it at your first wedding.
Ross: Joey, I figured you'd understand. I mean, I've known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers. I'm never going to get to be a best man.
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey: I'm never going to get to be a best man.

Chandler: Hey, guys, what are you doing?
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Ross: Yeah, see, I don't think it's going to be that difficult since this one won't take place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Chandler: Ooh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut. I'm too good for the Hut.

Gunther: Thanks for not marrying Rachel.

Phoebe: Everything's been about me lately. So what's happening with you?
Rachel: Oh, actually, we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding. It just might be too hard, given the history and all that.
Phoebe: Wow. This reminds me of the time when I was living on the street. And this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Rachel: How is this like that?
Phoebe: Well, let's see. It's not ... really like that. You see, because that was an actual problem.
And yours is just, like, you know, a bunch of high-school crap that nobody really gives-
[Rachel starts crying]
Rachel: I'm sorry. I guess just thought-
Phoebe: Oh, here come the water works.

Ross: The stripper stole my wedding ring? How? How? How could this happen?
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey, Joey, you be my best man!"

Phoebe: That was the 10th time I've peed since I've been here.
Monica: It's also like the 10th time you've told us.
Phoebe: Yeah, sorry, it must be really hard to hear. I tell you, it's a lot easier having three babies playing "Bring in Da Funk" on your bladder.

Phoebe: I am so sick of being pregnant. The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee which of course is decaf because, oh, I'm pregnant.
Ross: Pheebs, you want a cookie?
Phoebe: [sobbing] Thank you, so much.
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, how are those mood swings coming?
Phoebe: I haven't really had any yet.

Phoebe: Stop it.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Phoebe: It's not kicking me. It's kicking one of the other babies. Oh. Don't make me come in there!

Joey: In terms of the invite list, obviously I got you, me and Chandler. And I'm going to invite Gunther because we've been talking about this pretty loud.
Gunther: I'll be there.