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‘The One with the Ring’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Ring

623. The One with the Ring

Aired May 11, 2000

Phoebe helps Chandler as he goes shopping for an engagement ring. Meanwhile, Rachel wants Paul to open up emotionally, and Joey are Ross are upset that Chandler is spending time with Phoebe instead of them.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: What was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before?
Phoebe: That was so weird, huh?
Ross: Why did you do it?
Phoebe: I didn't do it. It was Chandler. He's mad at you.
Ross: What? Why?
Phoebe: Oh, please. I think you know why.
Ross: I can't think of anything.
Phoebe: Come on, Ross. You're a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.

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Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Something's missing. Okay, let me see the ring that my friend picked out.
Jeweler: Where's the 1 920s princess-cut ring?
Sales Woman: I just sold it to that gentleman.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Wait, stop. [Alarm blares, iron bars trap Phoebe] Let me out! Now! [Phoebe aims the musket at the jeweler]

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Have you told anyone else?
Chandler: No, I haven't told anyone else because I don't want Monica to find out.
Phoebe: You told me.
Chandler: Well, that's because I trust you, and we're friends, and you walked in on me while I was looking at ring brochures.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, once again, not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadn't been on the toilet.
Chandler: Me too.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
Rachel: Good. Although, you know, he's a private guy. I wish I could get him to open up. Share some feelings.
Phoebe: That's easy. You just have to think of him as a jar of pickles that won't open.
Rachel: So what are you saying? I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No, that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Wait a minute. Is it because Joey and I didn't invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Phoebe: You think that's something that he would be mad at you for?
Ross: I guess it could.
Phoebe: Well, then I think that's it.
Ross: You know, if he's angry, he shouldn't just cover it up. I wish he'd just tell me the truth.
Phoebe: Oh, well, if that's what you want, you really should run him under hot water and bang his head against the table.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Then how about puberty? Come on. That's always a painful time. You know, your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while you sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Paul: No, that never happened to me.
Rachel: Well, you're lucky you never met that bitch, Sharon Majeski.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: So maybe you don't get her a ring. Maybe you do something different. An engagement bracelet. Or an engagement tiara. An engagement Revolutionary War musket.
Chandler: You know, I'm so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Can't you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?

Quote from Phoebe

Chandler: How much is it?
Phoebe: Chandler, I will handle this. How much is it?
Jeweler: $8600.
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Jeweler: Are you interested in this ring?
Chandler: Yes. Yes. But I can only pay $8000.
Jeweler: Okay. I can let it go for 8.
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
Joey: No.
Ross: Remember, you were eating pizza?
Joey: Yeah.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Apparently Chandler's angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: We were supposed to just get him a ticket? That guy is always mooching off of us.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Okay. I'd also like to try on the tiara. Oh, yeah. Okay. What do you think? Wow. Too much?
Jeweler: A tad.
Phoebe: Okay, then take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again.

Quote from Chandler

Paul: Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: No. Did he hug you?
Paul: No. No. It's just that my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring.
Chandler: Oh, that's pretty nice, but I'm gonna go with the one I picked first.
Phoebe: Oh, wake up, Chandler. The one you picked is gone. It's over.
Chandler: What? Some guy bought it. I'm sorry. I tried to stop him but they put me in jail.
Chandler: They put you in jail?
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring.
Phoebe: I know. I'm sorry. But this ring is better. And Monica never even saw the other ring.
Chandler: Yeah. But when he proposed to me with the ring, I got goosebumps.
Phoebe: Maybe it was the guy.
Chandler: It was the ring!

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: There may be a way we could get the other ring back. Because I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we could get him to trade rings or something.
Chandler: I can't do that.
Phoebe: Well, you certainly can't give her that stupid gumball ring.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: There he is.
Chandler: Okay and he hasn't proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Phoebe: Wow, you're good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Chandler: Yeah.

Quote from Phoebe

Chandler: This is my fiancee, and her heart was set on that ring. Do you want to break her heart?
Phoebe: Yeah. Do you want to break a dying woman's heart?
Guy: You're dying? [Phoebe starts coughing]
Chandler: Yeah, she's dying ... of a cough, apparently.
Phoebe: Yes and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if I'm not buried with that ring, then my spirit is going to wander the netherworld for all eternity.
Chandler: Okay, that's enough, honey.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: God, that ring Chandler picked out was so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yeah, you should know. You've bought like a billion of them.
Ross: Ah, humor based on my pain.
Rachel: You know what's funny? Of all of your wives, I'm the only one who never got a ring.
Ross: This, uh, a big issue for you? Or what?
Rachel: No, but, you know, it would have been nice to have a little memento of our married time together. Something other than the divorce papers and the hangover.


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