TV Quotes

Ross: I saw the Porsche parked out front. Can I get the keys? I thought I'd take that bad boy for a spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute. You let Ross drive the Porsche? Yet when I ask you, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it.
Monica: Well, he's my brother, and plus he drives so slow he'd never hurt it.
Ross: It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.
Monica: Whatever, Ross. Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.

Monica: We're going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It's time you two talked. And I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: When we went over this, I won.
Monica: No, you didn't. And, honey, just so you know, now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.

Rachel: Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this. Okay, Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding.
Monica: Well, Rachel, the reason why I won't let you drive the Porsche is because you're a terrible driver. There. That wasn't about the wedding.
Ross: Look, Rach, if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche, I'll be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Joey: Yeah, you got a couple hours?

Rachel: Come on, Ross, give me the keys. Monica does not know what she's talking about. I'm an excellent driver.
Ross: You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well, in high school, that added up to head cheerleader.

Monica: And what are you going to do when he finds out he wasn't even asked?
Chandler: Well, he doesn't have to know. It's not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.

Chandler: Trust me, you don't want him there either. Nobody's going to be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a backless dress.
Monica: So what? As long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil, I don't care.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping.

Chandler: Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
Monica: Yes!
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Monica: How much did you ever really win before?

Chandler: I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready. He won't be too happy to see me either.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: I don't know if I've told you this, but he's kind of tried to get in contact me a lot over the last few years.
Monica: What?
Chandler: Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters. He even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. It's all very "Cats in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it.

Rachel: It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman. And then he... Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
Officer Hanson: Your license.
Rachel: Yes. Here you go, Officer Handsome.
Officer Hanson: It's Hanson.
Rachel: Oops, sorry. My mistake.
Ross: Dear Lord!

Helena Handbasket: What's your name?
Chandler: Chandler.
Helena Handbasket: Chandler? What an unusual name. You must have had terribly fascinating parents.
Chandler: Oh, they're a hoot.