Chandler: Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers?
Monica: We could. Or we could have sex in it.
Chandler: Well, let me think about that. While I remove my pants.
Monica: Okay, mister. Fertilize me.
[nasal laughter]
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Chandler: If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world.

Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember, Chandler. [laughs]

Joey: Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me. You are never, ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise I won't let that happen.
Rachel: Oh, Joey. Oh, sweetie, what would I do without you?
Joey: You don't have to worry about that, okay?
Rachel: Honey, could you grab me my other box of tissues? They're right on that chair under Ross's coat.
Joey: Sure. Oh, my God! [Joey finds Ross's ring]
Rachel: Joey?
Rachel: Oh, my God. Okay.

Chandler: So, do you know what you're gonna call her yet?
Phoebe: Wait a minute, it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original.

Rachel: Well, tell us, what are they?
Monica: Okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.
Rachel: And if it's a girl?
Monica: I don't want to say.
Rachel: Oh, stop. Tell us. We're not gonna want it.
Monica: Okay. It's Emma.
Rachel: [gasps] Emma. [sobbing] See, I don't want it.
Monica: Take it.
Rachel: What?
Monica: She's clearly an Emma.
Rachel: Oh, honey, but you love that name.
Monica: Yeah. But I love you more. Besides, you know, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.

Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone.
Rachel: Oh, I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?
Rachel: Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.

Monica: Oh, my God. She's amazing. Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex.

Monica: How are you doing?
Rachel: Oh, not bad. You know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?

Phoebe: Okay, I've got one for you. If you had to, which would you rather eat? A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Cliff: I'd have to say the talking gorilla. 'Cause at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.
Phoebe: Ooh, somebody went to college.

Janice: I'm telling you, Rachel. Listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there, until they start their real family.
Rachel: That's never gonna happen with Ross.
Janice: That's what I thought about my first husband. Now, I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Miss New Boobs.