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‘The One Where Rachel Finds Out’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Rachel Finds Out

124. The One Where Rachel Finds Out

Aired May 18, 1995

When Ross travels to China for work at short notice, he leaves Rachel a surprisingly expensive present for her birthday. Meanwhile, Joey must resist his girlfriend's attempts to get him into bed as he's secretly participating in a fertility study.

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: It's a fertility study.
Monica: Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Joey: Come on, you guys, it's not that big a deal. I just go down there every other day and make my contribution to the project. But at the end of two weeks, I get $700!
Phoebe: Wow. You're gonna be making money hand over fist.

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Quote from Joey

Rachel: Who's this from?
Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
Rachel: Oh, my God! He remembered!
Phoebe: Remembered what?
Rachel: lt was, like, months ago. We were walking by this antique store and I saw this pin in the window. And I told him it was just like one my grandma had when I was a little girl. I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane?
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty! This must've cost him a fortune.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, no. The um, the "love" part?
Chandler: Fl-[indistinguishable speech]
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no.
Joey: That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you would even ask that question shows how little you know me.

Quote from Ross

Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Chandler: Where's this money coming from?
Joey: Well, I'm helping out at the NYU Med School with research.
Ross: What kind of research?
Joey: Just, you know, science.
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Well, I've still got a week left to go. And according to the rules, if I want to get the money, I can't conduct personal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Monica: Joey, we always know what you mean.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I have to go to China.
Joey: The country?
Ross: No, no. This big pile of dishes in my mom's break room.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Please move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Chandler: Of course, there they just call it "food."

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: This one's from Joey. It feels like a book, I think it's a book. And it's a book!
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Joey: That book got me through some tough times.
Melanie: There is a little child inside this man.
Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: This is unbelievable. I mean, this is unbelievable!
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Chandler: No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh, I don't think any of our lives will ever be the same ever again.
Chandler: Okay, is there a mute button on this woman?

Quote from Joey

Rachel: What else did he say? I mean, does he, like, wanna go out with me?
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Ross? All this time? I've gotta talk to him.
Chandler: He's in China!
Joey: The country.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Wait, his flight doesn't leave for 45 minutes.
Chandler: What about time difference?
Monica: From here to the airport?
Chandler: Yes!

Quote from Joey

Melanie: Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey! I think I blacked out there for a minute.
Joey: It was nothing.
Melanie: Well, now we gotta find something fun for you.
Joey: You know what? Forget about me. Let's give you another turn.
Melanie: Me, again?
Joey: Sure. Why not?
Melanie: Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow! I gotta tell you, you are nothing like I thought you'd be.
Joey: How do you mean?
Melanie: I don't know. I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guy who are always, "Me, me, me!"- But you, you're a giver. You're, like, the most generous man I ever met. I mean, you're practically a woman.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Well, last night, it was like I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got! Man, oh, man! It was like a ticker-tape parade!
Chandler: Yes. I know. As it happens, my room is very, very close to the parade route.

Quote from Joey

Joey: It was amazing, and not just for her. For me too! It's like, all of a sudden I'm blind but all my other senses are heightened. You know, it's like I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Chandler: I didn't know you had another level.
Joey: I know. Neither did l!


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