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‘The One with Chandler in a Box’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Chandler in a Box

408. The One with Chandler in a Box

Aired November 20, 1997

Still angry at Chandler for kissing Kathy, Joey makes him sit on a box on Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, Ross is upset that Rachel exchanges all her gifts, and Monica finds herself attracted to her optometrist, who happens to be Richard's son.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Hello.
Chandler: It's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. [Joey hangs up]
[phone rings]
Joey: Hello.
Chandler: Look, I never should have kissed your girlfriend- [Joey hangs up]
[phone rings]
Joey: Stop calling!
Chandler: Hey, hey, hey. This is 92.3 WXRK, K-Rock calling with our $ 1,000 daily challenge!
Joey: All right!
Chandler: What is the name of your roommate who is very sorry and would do anything- [Joey hangs up]

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Quote from Rachel

Chandler: I spent eight hours calling him trying to get him to talk to me.
Rachel: Eight hours, huh? So you could probably use one of those plug-in telephone headsets?
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that are stolen from your office?
Rachel: You shouldn't.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas. Since Monica and I are starting a new business and have no money, maybe this year we could do Secret Santa and each only buy one gift. And there's the added mystery of, you know, who gets who.
Ross: Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Okay, did any of you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa? Because I want to trade for her.
Phoebe: I picked her. Oh, thank God you want her.
Chandler: Wow. Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she gets. It's, like, impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade.
Chandler: Well, that's not true. That's not true. I got her that backpack and she loved it. I remember she cried when that big dog ran off with- There was no big dog. All right, this sucks. I already got her a briefcase with "R.G." put on it. Her initials.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: lt looks bad.
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.
Chandler: He's really picky about his patients.

Quote from Monica

Phoebe: You've got to go. What's his office number?
Monica: Like I remember his office number? Speed dial seven.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye. Is Richard Burke in today? He's out of town today. Will she see the on-call doctor?
Monica: Yes!
Phoebe: Yes, she's very excited about that.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: It's so cool. Until Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
Ross: Hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Chandler: No, no, no. You don't want to do that. Then you're going to get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Ross: No, that's not true. I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Chandler: Like?
Ross: Like that gold necklace I got her last year.
Chandler: And when was the last time you saw her wear it?
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day and then ...
Chandler: Big dog?

Quote from Gunther

Joey: Hey, Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But, um, one of you is over there.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Fine. Judge all you want to. But married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, lives in a box.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: See. He's nice, right?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you really want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase: "That's not how your dad used to do it"?

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, look. If this is a big joke to you, forget about it. This means something to me.
If it doesn't mean anything to you, then get out of there. Otherwise, you're just an idiot in a box.
Chandler: You're right. I'm sorry. This means a lot to me. I want to be friends again. I swear I won't say another word.
Joey: So you'll take this seriously?
Chandler: Absolutely.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me. Are you going to take this seriously? [silence] Okay.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Don't say that I have no sentiment. This is a movie stub from our first date. This eggshell is from the first time you made me breakfast in bed. This is from the museum, the first time we ... were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.
Ross: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Though ... you're not supposed to take these. It's, like, a million years old. We actually have people looking for that.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Open the box.
Phoebe: What?
Joey: He can still catch her. Get out of there. Get out of there.
Chandler: So?
Joey: Yeah, we're going to be fine. Get out.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah. You did some real good thinking in there.
Chandler: I mean, this is... [Chandler and Joey hug]
Joey: You could still catch her. And merry Christmas from your Secret Santa.
All right, who got Chandler? Because I, uh, need to trade.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Well, maybe you can give it to somebody else. Like Ross Geller.
Chandler: Oh, you know what, though? It's kind of a girlie briefcase.
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Joey come on! We're picking names for Secret Santa.
Joey: Okay. I invented Secret Santa, you know. [Ross chuckles]
Rachel: What are you laughing at? You're the one who said Die Hard was your idea.
Ross: It was! Don't make me show you the napkin!

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: So, now, what exactly is the point of the box?
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts.


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