TV Quotes

Phoebe: It's so cool. Until Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
Ross: Hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen.

Joey: Hello.
Chandler: It's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. [Joey hangs up]
[phone rings]
Joey: Hello.
Chandler: Look, I never should have kissed your girlfriend- [Joey hangs up]
[phone rings]
Joey: Stop calling!
Chandler: Hey, hey, hey. This is 92.3 WXRK, K-Rock calling with our $ 1,000 daily challenge!
Joey: All right!
Chandler: What is the name of your roommate who is very sorry and would do anything- [Joey hangs up]

Chandler: I spent eight hours calling him trying to get him to talk to me.
Rachel: Eight hours, huh? So you could probably use one of those plug-in telephone headsets?
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that are stolen from your office?
Rachel: You shouldn't.

Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas. Since Monica and I are starting a new business and have no money, maybe this year we could do Secret Santa and each only buy one gift. And there's the added mystery of, you know, who gets who.
Ross: Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that.

Chandler: Okay, did any of you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa? Because I want to trade for her.
Phoebe: I picked her. Oh, thank God you want her.
Chandler: Wow. Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she gets. It's, like, impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade.
Chandler: Well, that's not true. That's not true. I got her that backpack and she loved it. I remember she cried when that big dog ran off with- There was no big dog. All right, this sucks. I already got her a briefcase with "R.G." put on it. Her initials.

Phoebe: lt looks bad.
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.
Chandler: He's really picky about his patients.

Phoebe: You've got to go. What's his office number?
Monica: Like I remember his office number? Speed dial seven.

Phoebe: Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye. Is Richard Burke in today? He's out of town today. Will she see the on-call doctor?
Monica: Yes!
Phoebe: Yes, she's very excited about that.

Ross: Maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Chandler: No, no, no. You don't want to do that. Then you're going to get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Ross: No, that's not true. I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Chandler: Like?
Ross: Like that gold necklace I got her last year.
Chandler: And when was the last time you saw her wear it?
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day and then ...
Chandler: Big dog?

Joey: Hey, Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But, um, one of you is over there.